


Pretty Keener

by mauvera



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Harley is a little shit, Identity Reveal, M/M, This story is basically Harley just messing with everyone but accidentally falls in love lmao, Tony is a dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauvera/pseuds/mauvera
Summary: When Harley Keener moves to New York for his last year in high school, he comes with one mission: Mess. With. Everyone.Somewhere between convincing Captain America that he is actually Spider-Man, and seeing just how many robots he can sneak into his new school, Harley finds himself spending more and more time around a certain boy with more secrets than he could ever have guessed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A fic for my beloved friend SmolTownFangirl’s birthday
> 
> Surprise!! It’s a multi chap fic because I have no self control ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Harley was having  _ way  _ more fun than any reasonable person should be having as they lie to a national icon. 

 

“Oh yes,” he said enthusiastically, his eyelashes batting innocently, “I only just moved here a few days ago.”

 

Steve Rogers smiled warmly at him, even as Harley could see Tony roll his eyes dramatically behind him. Harley’s grin slipped into a smug smirk the more Rogers praised him for being so brave for moving to New York all by himself. They both ignored Tony, who was sat at the kitchen island, muttering to himself about how Harley moved in with  _ him _ , so it’s not like he’d just shown up in the city and figured it out from there. 

 

Harley cast an amused smile in his benevolent benefactor’s direction. Tony tried to glare him down but even he cracked a smile as Roger asked how the move went. 

 

Tony had tried to tell Harley to not start lying to the Rogue Avengers once their return had been announced. He had not been successful. 

 

Really, Tony was expecting too much of him if he thought Harley  _ wasn’t _ going to take every available opportunity to mess with the guys who had broken up the Avengers. Even if they were pardoned now, Harley was a firm believer in taking whatever petty revenge he could. Apparently, much to Tony’s chagrin and secret amusement, this came in the form of seeing how long he could stand there making stuff up before they figured him out. 

 

So far he’d learnt that Captain America had apparently not even noticed that Harley had moved in over a month ago, and also that he now genuinely thought Harley was a distant nephew of Steve’s cousin Jenny. 

 

Harley only just opened his mouth to start trying to drop hints to Cap that he was actually Spider-Man when Tony leapt from his seat, no doubt seeing the mischievous glint in Harley’s eyes.

 

“Okay!” He called out, wrapping his hands around Harley’s shoulders as he steered him from the room, “We have to go unpack now. It’s been great Capsicle. Really,” Tony’s smile straining with the struggle of pushing Harley’s protesting body through the doorway, “Absolutely lovely chat, but we’ve gotta go.”

 

The last glimpse Harley had of Rogers was him confusedly looking after their retreating forms, his hand half raised in an uncertain wave.

 

Harley was still laughing when Tony finally released him, letting the boy run wild in the lab. Immediately, Harley made his way to the desk he had claimed as his own, a pile of miscellaneous machine parts covering the entire surface along with blueprints for ideas already half forgotten. 

 

Tony followed behind, shaking his head and probably regretting ever agreeing to have Harley move into the tower with him for his final year at high school. Harley spun around on his chair, beaming up at the man just to remind him that he did actually like the kid, and that Tony couldn’t even try to convince him that he wasn’t just as amused as Harley was everytime he messed with the Rogues. 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony sighed, “You’re very funny kid.”

 

“Thanks!”

 

“I wasn’t being genuine.”

 

“And yet you told the truth anyway.” Harley retorted easily. 

 

“You’re a real pain in my ass you know that kid?” Tony said, nudging at Harley’s chair as he passed by, causing the boy to spin around with far more force than he’d anticipated. He glared at Tony who didn’t even bother looking back. “Good thing I’m getting rid of you tomorrow.”

 

Harley pouted, of course he’d known that school would be starting soon, but having Tony remind him that it was so close still sucked. 

 

“Stop it.” Tony said, still facing away from Harley. 

 

“Stop what?”

 

“That face.”

 

Harley scrunched his nose up in confusion, “How’d you know I was making a face?”

 

“Because we’re connected kid.” Harley’s laugh rang through the giant room, infectious enough that Tony himself cracked a smile. “Now come over here and we can finish that circuit board I was showing you yesterday. Maybe you can actually do something productive before getting thrown to the wolves.”

 

Harley grumbled even as he stood to meander over to Tony, grabbing the appropriate tools he’d need on his way. “Aren’t you meant to be encouraging me to get a good education? And be a productive member of society?”

 

Tony scoffed, “Sure thing kid. Education is important. Go be a productive member of society.” He turned to Harley sceptically, “That good enough for you? Have I done my duties as your temporary legal guardian yet?” Harley nodded, laughter in his eyes, “Good. Now hand me that screwdriver and I’ll teach you something actually valuable.”

 

Harley rolled his eyes fondly, but moved in close to watch Tony’s movements with a careful eye. And if he happened to have been asked, he definitely would’ve denied the bubbly warmth in his chest he felt every time Tony praised his work, he’d deny that feeling of pride, and happiness, and home. 

  
  


-

 

Peter Parker, it seemed, had a small problem. 

 

“Dude,” Ned said, eyes wide in disbelief, “you’re blushing.”

 

As it appeared to be the only appropriate response available to him,  Peter elbowed his best friend in the side so that he’d shut up.  _ Thank god _ , Peter thought,  _ just in time.  _ That is, just in time because the boy responsible for making Peter blush so heavily had begun to walk their way and Ned was anything but subtle. 

 

The new guy was unfairly attractive. Peter was mad. No one is allowed to just…  _ be _ that attractive. Especially not at this school. Peter’s school was for nerdy children who would not hesitate for a second to replace gym class with maths and sports with… probably some more maths. But still. The point stands that the new kid was a surprisingly buff, blonde haired beauty who somehow managed to make engine grease stains on his shirt look like a damn fashion statement. It was illegal frankly, and Peter decided he hated him. 

 

“Why’s Parker pouting again?” Michelle asked, slapping her lunch tray onto the table so hard and so suddenly that Peter actually jumped a foot in the air. She grinned at him, all shark like and amused in that way that had taken Peter too many months to realise meant she was just joking around. 

 

Ned chewed thoughtfully on his apple, eyeing Peter who was once again staring at the new kid as he waited in line for his food. “I think he’s just in denial.”

 

MJ perked up at once, ready to hear about Peter’s latest anguish in life. “In denial about what?”

 

“He’s kind of in love with the new guy. And he just found out that he’s got a southern accent so Peter is having, like, a brain meltdown.” 

 

Peter tore his eyes away from watching the way the new kid’s hair had fallen into his eyes and he’d pushed it back, allowing Peter to get an even better view of those arms, just to glare at Ned. 

 

“I am  _ not  _ having a meltdown-“

 

His two friend took one look at his defensive expression before turning to each other and saying, as one, “Yeah he is.”

 

Peter grumbled, slumping down into his seat and picking half heartedly at his lunch. It took all of his willpower not to turn around and watch the new kid but he knew his friends would pick up on that in a second. So he sat there. And he pouted. And eventually his hunger was enough of a pressing issue that he reluctantly began shovelling the tasteless gruel he had been served into his mouth. 

 

In front of him, MJ scoffed. He looked up curiously only to find her gazing right past his shoulder. “Looks like you might have some competition loser.” She said calmly. 

 

Peter peered at her. That wasn’t MJ’s “everything you’re doing is irrelevant so of course I’m calm” voice. No. That was her “you’re about to do something ludicrously stupid and I need to concentrate right now so I can remember it all to make fun of you later” calm. 

 

He swallowed the gruel, steeling himself against whatever trouble Michelle was about to start. 

 

_ You have  _ got  _ to be kidding me _ , he thought. Peter didn’t want to believe his eyes because his eyes, apparently, were dirty little tricksters who were trying to tell him that Flash Fucking Thompson was leaning against a wall, blocking the path of the new kid who simply stood there with one eyebrow raised at Flash’s grossly obvious attempts at flirting. 

 

All at once Peter was simultaneous grateful and regretful for his enhanced hearing because now he knew what he was looking for, it was impossible not to hear the conversation. 

 

“I’m just saying,” Flash… purred? “You’re new here. You’ll need someone to, well, show you the ropes as it were.”

 

“The ropes?” Asked the beautiful voice. 

 

“Yeah. The ropes.” Flash rested a hand on his hip in a move that was probably meant to look somewhat attractive but instead managed to make him look like an unbalanced teapot. “You’ll want to know where to go, things to do, people to do.” Flash cleared his throat purposefully, “I mean, of course, people to  _ meet.  _ Silly me.”

 

New kid’s lips quirked up in a hint of a smile, which meant he was either genuinely charmed by that guy, or he was doing a very good job at suppressing a laugh. 

 

“How… sweet of you Eugene,” the guy said. And frankly Peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little more attracted to him for daring to use Flash’s real name without a care for the consequences. Flash may not be that powerful, but Peter could attest to him being a real pain in the ass if he was in the mood to throw a temper tantrum. 

 

To his surprise though, Flash didn’t even bother correcting the new kid, just stuttered out a quiet “you’re welcome” as the new kid kept talking. 

 

“Really, you’re so thoughtful,” new kid eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, large, doe like eyes at Peter’s new least favourite human on the planet “but I think I’ll just have to find those things out as I go.”

 

Peter could tell even from that distance that New Kid was trying to escape the conversation. And judging by the amount of swearing he’d overheard from the new kid earlier that day, this whole doe-eyed shtick was an act. Flash, however, didn’t seem to have gotten the memo. 

 

“You sure you don’t want a hand? With, well,” Flash let his gaze wander over New Kid’s body way too suggestively for Peter’s liking, “anything else?” He asked. 

 

New Kid’s eyebrows managed to reach incredible new heights after that display. He tried to step around Flash only to have the boy block his exit yet again. 

 

“I’m gonna go save him.” Peter declared to his friends, already standing up and ducking through the cafeteria. He decided to ignore the heavy thud of Ned’s head falling against the table in defeat. 

 

Peter strode forward as he swallowed any sense of hesitation he normally would’ve felt at making a scene as Peter Parker and not Spider-Man. All too soon Peter found himself knocking against Flash, the force pushing the boy out of the way just enough that New Kid was now staring straight at Peter. 

 

New Kid looked at him questioningly until Peter eventually realised he was expected to talk. 

 

“Hey,” he said, confidence already wavering as Flash began to round on him, fury in his eyes. Peter struggled to get his brain to come up with the first convincing lie in his whole life. “There you are. We were looking for you.”

 

New Kid grinned, which apparently was enough encouragement for Peter to go on. Especially because Flash was still standing there, mouth gaping open like a confused fish as he struggled to work out why Peter knew the New Kid. 

 

“Yeah,” Peter said amiably, looping his arm though New Kids and gently tugging him in the direction of his friends, “we thought you might’ve already gotten lost.”

 

Behind them, Flash stood, fuming at the fact Penis Parker had somehow just stolen the new guy from right under his nose and Flash didn’t even know how he’d done it. 

 

New Kid’s eyes crinkled adorably as he looked between them, clearly picking up on the tension as Peter struggled to keep a straight face, desperately hoping New Kid would just go with the lie.

 

“I’m not lost,” he said eventually, and Peter could feel his stomach drop. Damn it. Flash would never let him down for trying to pretend he knew the New Kid, ugh is this what he got for sticking his neck out? New Kid tightened his grip around Peter’s arm, smiling at him amusedly, “Just got caught up in a little… friendly conversation. But I’m done now,” his easy dismissal of Flash would fuel Peter for years to come, “Lead the way.”

 

Peter took the cue, pulling New Kid towards his table where MJ and Ned were staring at him in shock. The two boys sat down, Peter finally releasing New Kid’s arm with only a small twinge of regret. 

 

“Uh hey guys,” Peter said, suddenly aware that now he’d taken the initiative to kidnap the New Kid he should probably actually introduce him to his friends, “I rescued him from Flash.” MJ’s eye roll was impressively effective at communicating just what she thought of him stating the obvious. Peter turned to New Kid, “So these are my friends. The guy pretending he didn’t just spill his drink onto his lap a second ago, is my best friend Ned. And the girl pretending that she’s reading and not eavesdropping right now, is my friend Michelle who refuses to admit that we’re actually besties.”

 

Ned waved, a half hearted chuckle on his lips even as he elbowed MJ in her side until she reluctantly flashed New Kid a quick smile.

 

“Ned, MJ this is… uh,” Peter paused, suddenly well aware that he should not introduce him as New Kid. “This is a guy.”

 

New Kid snorted, before running his hand through sandy blond curls and flashing the trio with an illegally attractive, crooked smile. “The name’s Harley.”

 

Both Ned and MJ nodded politely but Peter was a little distracted.  _ Harley. Yes, a perfect name for a perfect boy _ . Some small, far off part of his brain made Peter wonder if maybe his immediate, thoughtless crush might be a little bit too intense. But then Harley smiled at something Ned said and Peter decided he was entirely in the right to already be halfway in love with the new kid. 

 

“- so that’s pretty much why I moved here,” Peter zoned back into the conversation as Harley spoke, “Good opportunities and all that.”

 

“And where were you before?” Ned asked, casting Peter an amused smirk, “I just  _ love _ your accent.”

 

Peter blushed furiously and glared at Ned for totally calling him out in front of Harley, who in turn seemed oblivious to Peter’s struggle at keeping a straight face.

 

“Rose Hill Tennessee, born and raised.” He declared, letting the Southern twinge in his voice thicken for dramatic effect. But it also managed to make the red flush across Peter’s cheeks deepen even further as he realised just how much he liked the sound of Harley’s voice.  _ Damn it Peter, get yourself together _ . His thoughts were interrupted as Harley turned to him, “How about you guys? You all always lived in New York?”

 

“Pretty much yeah,” Peter said, “I probably would have to be to be a friendly, neighbourhood Sp-... Peter.” Peter cringed at how thoughtless that had been and struggled to keep on track now that Harley’s amused grin had been cast in Peter’s direction. “Yep! That’s me. Your friendly, nieghbourhood Peter.”

 

In front of him, Ned and MJ were trying their absolute hardest not to piss themselves laughing at his pathetic cover up. He needed new friends. 

 

“Well, my friendly neighbourhood Peter,” Harley laughed, “Thanks for letting me crash your guys’ lunch.” 

 

“You’re welcome to stay.” 

 

Peter turned in surprise at the sound of MJ’s voice. Not only was she actually interacting with someone new but she was  _ welcoming _ them? Either she was doing this because she was looking forward to the miriad of ways Peter would inevitably embarass himself in front of Harley, or she too had clocked that mischievous glint in Harley’s eyes that told them all that he would happily be getting himself into trouble soon enough. Either way, MJ had pretty much just booked herself front row tickets to what was sure to be the beginning of utter chaos at Midtown High.


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Alright.” Tony sighed from across the lab, causing Harley to look up at him curiously. “What is it?”

 

“What is what?”

 

“What happened that has you all,” Tony struggled to find the right word and settled with simply gesturing at Harley’s entire face, “Like  _ that _ .”

 

“You mean smiling?” Harley laughed, “C’mon old man I’m sure you’ve smiled at least once in your life.”

 

“How dare you accuse me of being old. Get out of my lab.” Seeing as that was about the third time in the last two hours that Tony had ordered Harley out, he figured he was probably safe to stay anyway. “And you know very well what I’m talking about Harley. You haven’t stopped smiling at your phone all afternoon. Is this what teenagers do? Am I meant to stop you? Your mother didn’t give me any instructions, this is a disaster.”

 

“Yeah, I mean I guess this is what teenagers do? Anyway, what’s it to you if I smile at my phone. Maybe I made a friend at school today. Which, by the way, you haven’t even asked me about. And everyone knows that the adult is meant to ask the teenager how school was so they can be surly and only reply with one word answers.” Tony scoffed a laugh at Harley’s pout, “You’re ruining my teenage rebellion.”

 

“You’re a demanding nuisance aren’t you?” Tony mused, “But fine. How was your day at school, kid?”

 

Harley beamed. “Surprisingly great. I met this one guy who, for some goddamn reason, calls himself Flash, and made him think I’m like, nice. And trust me, it’s hilarious how hard he is trying to impress me.” For a second Harley wonders why Tony had pinched his lips together like he had something to say, at first thinking he was going to berate him for messing with this kid but Tony had made that expression the second he heard the name Flash, so maybe he was just judging the kid’s life choices. “And then this other guy came to rescue me from him which was also hilarious.”

 

“Just how many ‘guys’ are in your life already? You starting a collection?”

 

“Hey, stop that.”

 

“Stop what?”

 

“Smiling like that. You’re laughing at me.”

 

Tony laughed. “I’m not laughing.”

 

Harley rolled his eyes but found himself smiling too. This was just how conversations with Tony went. They were assholes to each other but Harley knew Tony liked having him around. After all, it turned out that they were surprisingly good for one another. Harley made sure Tony remembered to function like a person because he demanded to be fed and to go to sleep every so often. And Tony made sure Harley stopped trying to blow up the lab and endanger himself at every given moment. 

 

The conversation settled into a comfortable silence as Harley spun on his chair, scrolling through his phone. 

 

“So,” Tony said eventually, not looking away from the metal he was welding, “Who is this other guy?” Harley groaned. “Oh come on. Let an old man live vicariously through you. Teenage drama is objectively hilarious.”

 

“Why do you even want to live vicariously through me? You fly around in a suit of armour that you built yourself, which you could do because you’re a literal billionaire. I’m pretty sure I know which one of us lives the more exciting life.”

 

“Yes, very true.” Tony said smugly, “But as you are so kind to point out, I am no longer so young. And I’ve recently discovered it’s my new favourite hobby to make fun of teenagers. So tell me who the guy is.”

 

Harley sighed, “He’s just some guy okay? What do you want me to say? He’s nice? He introduced me to his friends. He’s crazy smart. He's cute. I’m pretty sure every shirt he owns has a dumb chemistry pun on them. I mean, I’ve only seen one so far but it very much seems like the type of thing he’d do.”

 

Perhaps Harley should’ve been worried about the slightly manic grin on Tony’s face that was far too knowing, and far too amused. But unfortunately Harley had just gotten a text from the boy they had been discussing and so in his distraction, he entirely missed Tony’s expression.

 

“And what is this charming young lad’s name?’

 

Harley scrunched up his nose in disgust, “Okay first of all, you’re banned from ever using the phrase ‘charming young lad’ ever again. And second of all, if I tell you his name will you drop the subject?”

 

“Cross my heart,” Tony said, dutifully crossing his finger over his chest.

 

‘Ugh fine. His name is Peter.”

 

It would take quite some time before Harley eventually figured out why Tony laughed so hard at that answer. 

  
  


-

  
  
  


“Mr Stark?” Peter answers the call, surprised that Mr Stark himself was calling.

 

“You are aware that Tony is my name aren’t you?” He replied, half heartedly still trying to get Peter to stop calling him Mr Stark. Peter grinned, if Mr Stark was bothering to correct him then that meant there wasn’t any kind of emergency going on that needed his help. So Peter simply shot another web and swung around a corner, waving down at the citizens who called up to Spider-Man, and waited for Mr Stark to say whatever he had called Peter for.

 

“How are you doing kid?”

 

“Uh,” Peter was prepared for him to ask him to come to the lab and fix up the web shooters, or to organise a time to do that paperwork for his now somewhat legitimate Stark Internship. Not to ask about his life. Mr Stark didn’t do small talk. Which meant Mr Stark was up to something. “I’m fine?” he eventually settled on.

 

“Good, good.”

 

Silence stretched as Mr Stark apparently also became aware that he was terrible at small talk. Perhaps if Peter were a better person he might try to fill the quiet himself, but even he had to admit it was kind of funny to know Mr Stark was struggling with basic human interaction.

 

“So,” The man eventually continued, “How’s school?”

 

Peter paused. This was weird. Something was weird. 

 

“Are you okay Mr Stark?” 

 

Maybe he’d been kidnapped. Maybe this was actually a cry for help. Should Peter get Karen to trace his location? Would that be rude? Is it rude to try and save someone from a kidnapping? Oh boy. Peter wasn’t trained for this. He doesn’t know how to save Mr Stark if he was being held at gunpoint and his only escape plan was to call Peter and ask about school. Maybe he wasn’t even being kidnapped, maybe everything was fine, maybe Peter was overreacting, maybe-

 

“Uh, kid? You going to answer?”

 

“Right!” Okay, so Mr Stark didn’t sound like he was getting kidnapped, what a surprise. “School is fine?”

 

Mr Stark scoffed before muttering to himself, “Can’t believe he was right. You teenagers really love your monosyllabic answers huh?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Just a friend.” Peter grinned at that, well aware of just how few people Tony claimed as his friends. He wondered if Peter counted in that group. “But really kid, school? How’s Ted? And the scary one?”

 

“Ned is great, MJ too. And I’m sure she’ll be even better to know that she’s earned that reputation.” At that point Peter had decided to just land on a nearby roof, sitting down at the edge to look down over New York below him. Theoretically it was so he could actually pay attention to whatever Mr Stark was saying, but mostly it was just to catch his breath for once. Maybe it was because he finally had a chance to pay attention to what was actually being said, that Peter realised Mr Stark was definitely after… something. 

 

“Anyone else?”

 

_ Holy crap _ , Peter thought to himself, Mr Stark was trying to ask about his lovelife. What was he meant to do here? Was this a weird attempt to connect with Peter? Was it a midlife crisis? Did Mr Stark  _ know _ something. 

 

Only one way to find out.

 

“Well,” Peter said slowly, teasing out the word as he decided whether or not he was actually about to talk to Tony Stark about his stupid crush, “There is this one guy…”

 

He had to wonder if all eccentric billionaires got excessively excited about hearing gossip about a teenager’s lovelife, or if Peter was the only one lucky enough to have to deal with this particular problem. 

 

“Oh?” Mr Stark asked, as if he wasn’t on the other end of the line with bated breath, biting down on a ludicrous grin.

 

“Yeah… He’s new.”

 

Mr Stark’s voice seemed to raise an octave or two. “Oh?’

 

“Yep. New kid. He’s nice. Seems interesting.” 

 

Okay. Mr Stark knew something. That was the kind of crazily eager pause he had when he was about to reveal some new revolutionary piece of tech and Peter was the first one to see it. Or the pause where he was about to tell Peter that he had just ordered an entire shipping crate of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream just because Pepper said he wouldn’t and Mr Stark needed help eating it all. In other words: Mr Stark was excited. 

 

“Would this new kid have a name?”

 

Was Peter honestly about to tell Mr Stark the name of his crush? Apparently so. Even if he hadn’t told him, it seemed like a fair bet that he would find out some way or another.

 

“Okay first of all, you’re not allowed to make fun of me for having a crush alright? And second of all, if I tell you his name will you drop the subject?”

 

“Cross my heart,” Tony said far too gleefully for any normal person.

 

‘Ugh fine. His name is Harley.”

 

Peter supposed Mr Stark did end up keeping his end of the bargain because he never really made fun of Peter. No. Instead he laughed louder than Peter had ever heard and hung up immediately, leaving Spider-Man to sit alone on a random roof trying to figure out if he was already going to regret ever telling him that name. Oh dear. 

  
  


-

  
  


This was the single greatest idea Harley Keener had ever come up with.

 

Pride swelled in his chest as he looked down at his newest robot. It looked a little bit like a fanged bluetooth speaker on wheels, and as he watched it bumble around the floor Harley already knew it was his favourite thing on the planet. 

 

“What’s that?” A familiar voice sounded over Harley’s shoulder. He turned, not at all surprised to find Peter leaning over curiously. In the last week of him being at Midtown, Harley had integrated well into Peter’s group of friends. Perhaps it was because Harley had discovered they were all equally as chaotic as him. A fact he learned when he found out how  shockingly good Ned Leeds was at inciting Michelle into a ten minute rant about how stupid Flat Earthers are, by simply proclaiming, with an impressively straight face, that the world can’t possibly be round because then where would the turtle go. 

 

It was fucking hilarious. 

 

Peter however, had somehow managed to worm his way into Harley’s life at every available opportunity. While he hung out with the other two at lunch, Peter seemed to just be everywhere all the time. They walked to class together, and ate lunch together and now he even had a sneaking suspicion that Peter had rejoined robotics club just because Harley had decided to attend it. But maybe that was a bit far fetched.

 

“This,” Harley declared, “is Shreddy.” 

 

Peter grinned, “Nice to meet you.” He said, somehow both entirely amused and adorably sincere. 

 

Shreddy beeped back at Peter politely before immediately wandering off in search of his next meal. Harley watched him go with fondness until he felt a nudge into his shoulder and looked up to see Peter’s single raised eyebrow.

 

“So what does Shreddy do?”

 

“You’ll see,” Harley promised, even as a soft beep alerted the pair to the fact Shreddy had been victorious. They watched, matching maniacal grins on their faces as Shreddy’s jaws chomped down on a stray piece of paper that had fallen to the floor beside a student’s desk, and it began devouring both the sheet itself and all of the carefully drawn designs printed across it’s front. 

 

Harley cheered for his little baby, proud that his invention had not only worked, but was already enacting Harley’s entirely reasonable plan to cause as much chaos in the school as humanly possible. 

 

“What. The. Fuck.” 

 

Harley and Peter tore their eyes from Shreddy who was busy beeping in panic as he zoomed away to safety, only for the boys to look up and see Flash Thompson staring with unabashed disgust at the pile of paper scraps where his design had once been. 

 

Flash’s disgust quickly turned to fury as he noticed Peter’s barely concealed laughter from the other side of the room. The stomp of his feet making a beeline for Peter was the only warning the boys had before Flash was standing before them, practically buzzing with fury.

 

“You got a problem Parker?”

 

Harley was almost proud of the way Peter dared to stand straight, arms crossed in defiance as he stared Flash down. “Not at all. Have you Flash?”

 

“Yeah, dumbass. I wanna know why the hell your trashy little toy just  _ ate  _ my homework.”

 

Peter’s scoff was drowned out by Harley’s saccharine sweet voice, “Is something wrong Eugene?” He batted his lashes and stared up at Flash with the biggest doe eyes he could possibly muster. 

 

The change was immediate. It was like Flash finally noticed who was sitting right by Peter’s side and instantly became ten times more likable. Which, to be fair, still wasn’t very likable at all, but he was definitely trying. Harley eyed him as Flash began to lean over his desk, already having forgotten Peter in favour of trying to look… sexy? Maybe? If that was what he wanted to call a pose that made him look more like a misshapen bridge than an appealing figure of  _ any _ kind. 

 

“Hey Harley,” Flash said and Harley very nearly burst out laughing in his face at just how transparent he was being, “What brings you here?”

 

“Here? To robotics club? The club that meets here every week at the same time and place that l’ve already committed to coming to?” 

 

Flash fumbled for a moment, clearly unprepared to be caught out so quickly and especially not while Harley never dropped his facade for a moment. Vaguely, he wondered what Peter was thinking. Because the boy hadn’t left, instead he was still standing there watching Flash’s attempts to flirt and Harley’s attempts to see just how far Flash was willing to go. Really, Harley was just letting it happen because he was honestly curious if Flash actually liked him or not. Maybe this was some weird way for him to prove just how “cool” he was by getting the new kid to fall in love with him. Well, no matter what his motive was, Harley was having fun messing with him.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Flash laughed uncomfortably, “Fancy that.”

 

“Fancy indeed.” Harley could just about feel how intensely Peter was rolling his eyes beside him. “So why’d you come over here?”

 

“Oh.” Flash sighed, anger seeping back into his voice as he glared at Peter, “Just wanted to tell Parker to get his stupid robots to quit ruining everything.”

 

“You mean Shreddy?” Harley asked 

 

Flash scoffed, “That’s the name you chose, Parker? Could you be any less original?”

 

“Oh he didn’t chose it,” Harley grinned, “I did. It’s my robot.”

 

He almost wished he had been filming just so he could rewatch the entire emotional journey Flash’s face undertook as he struggled to backtrack against every single word he’d just said. “Yeah, obviously you’d name it something cool like that. Seriously, Harley. I really love it. It was so great how it… ate my work… like that.”

 

“Thanks Eugene!” Harley said, before turning back to his friend who had just watched that whole exchange with his mouth hanging open in shock, “See you later Peter, I’ve got a robot to set loose in the school.” And with that, Harley stood and walked straight out the door without a single backwards glance.

 

-

  
  
  


“Karen,” Peter whined to his AI later that afternoon, “What does it mean?”

 

Karen’s voice sounded clearly in his ear over the sound of wind rushing past him as he swung through the streets on his evening patrol. “I’m not sure what you mean Peter. You said the boy you like said goodbye to you and not Flash. That must be a sign he is in love with you. You should ask him out.”

 

Peter reluctantly chuckled, “Would it be weird for me to ask Mr Stark to update your dating advice?” he answered his own question before she had a chance to respond. “Yep. It’d definitely be weird. I’m not doing that.”

 

Karen hummed thoughtfully but didn’t question him further. That’s really one of the things Peter loved about her, she would always listen to whatever thoughts Peter had during patrols and let him just speak out loud without judgement. Whenever he was in the suit Peter found it was practically impossible not to want to talk. After all, there was so much freedom that came from being underneath a mask even if, more often than not, it made the people he was fighting somehow get even more annoyed at him. How weird that they didn’t appreciate his quality sense of humour as he stopped their crimes. 

 

Okay, maybe it wasn’t  _ so _ weird.

 

He was halfway through describing just how nice Harley had looked that afternoon in robotics with his hair all pushed back and some more of that engine grease that seemed to mysteriously be upon him at all times, smeared across his cheek, when Karen interrupted him.

 

“Did he look something like that boy Peter?”

 

Any words in Peter’s mind scrambled at once as he looked where she was directing him. There, waving wildly at him on top of a roof, was Harley Keener. 

 

“Why the hell is he up there?” Peter asked himself before turning mid-swing to circle round to the boy who didn’t seem to be in any kind of danger except possibly from his own stupidity. 

 

“Why the hell are you up here?” Peter asked again, this time to Harley’s face as he landed with barely a thud. Was he trying extra hard to seem graceful and elegant because he wanted to impress Harley as Spider-Man in a way that Peter Parker never could? Yes. He was definitely doing that. Arguably, he was also trying to differentiate himself from Peter Parker, the known loser who clumsily stumbled into everything ever put in his path… but mostly he just wanted to see the way Harley’s expression changed appreciatively at Spider-Man’s little display.  

 

“Looking for you.” Harley said simply, like waiting alone on rooftops was a thing normal people did when they wanted to meet Spider-Man.

 

“Is this for any particular reason?”

 

“Yeah,” Harley nodded, “I wanted to see if you were actually cool or not.”

 

Peter didn’t know how to respond to that. 

 

“I don’t know how to respond to that.” He said.

 

Harley laughed before shrugging, “Dunno what you want me to say man, I just needed to know if you were a decent person.”

 

“Is this for any reason?”

 

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know how else to find you and I just really wanted to know if Spider-Man was as interesting as people said. You don’t exactly have a phone number I can call. So,” he gestured around them, “Rooftop.”

 

Peter didn’t exactly know what to say to that. Obviously he wanted Harley to like him, but he wasn’t sure what he was even looking for in the first place. “How, uh- How am I doing then?”

 

The tiny smile Harley let slip was almost worth how embarrassingly transparent Peter was being as he sought his attention, “Not too badly.”

 

Peter beamed beneath the mask, filled with an odd sense of pride that was probably unearned. In fact, maybe it was  _ quite  _ unearned, after all it had barely been three hours since Peter had witnessed Harley flirting with  _ Flash _ of all people. He was about ninety nine percent sure that Harley had been faking it, especially seeing as there was never another time Harley looked quite so innocent as when he was deliberately being as mischievous as possible. So it was entirely likely that Harley wasn’t quite as taken with the superhero before him as Peter might’ve hoped. In fact, Harley seemed surprisingly calm to be in the presence of the vigilante. From experience, Peter was pretty sure most people’s reactions to first meeting a hero was to either scream or stutter constantly, no one ever seemed to just… have a conversation. It was kinda nice. 

 

It was also kinda stupid.

 

“Well, as flattering as that is, I feel like as your responsible friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, I should tell you not to climb onto rooftops just to attract random heroes.” Peter winked the mask’s eye lenses, unsure where he had just found the confidence to flirt straight at Harley. Maybe it was just because Spider-Man, being infinitely cooler than Peter Parker, was probably as close as he would ever get to actually having a chance with Harley. 

 

Harley, who was smiling right at him, mischief dancing in his eyes. “How could this be dangerous?” He asked, arms spread wide against a backdrop of the New York skyline. Below, the sounds of traffic and chatter rumbled beneath them, reminding Peter yet again of just how close Harley was standing to the edge. This reminder apparently was not enough for Peter to be aware of the way Harley was stepping back, his feet barely touching the gutter of the roof before he took one final step backwards. And suddenly, there was no Harley in front of him. 

 

Shit. 

 

Peter was already diving over the edge before Harley even seemed to realise he was plummeting towards the ground. Peter could practically see the exact moment he seemed to register that, maybe, just maybe, his dramatics might be having some consequences for once. 

 

Harley’s mouth opened in a gasp of surprise, but somehow seemed shockingly calm. Maybe it was just because he could see the way Peter was already reaching for him. Or maybe it was because Peter was currently panicking more than enough for the both of them. 

 

Wind rushed past his ears as Peter fell ever further, the distance between them closing every second until at last Peter’s fingertips brushed against the material of the same shirt that he had been admiring all day at school, and he pulled Harley close to him. In midair Peter turned, his left arm wrapped tight around Harley’s waist just in case the boy somehow managed to get away from him yet again. That did seem very in character for him. Meanwhile, Peter shot a web back up to the top of the building, their momentum halting all too suddenly and Peter found himself simply dangling against the side of the building, his arm wrapped around a boy who was staring at him like he’d hung the moon, or like he’d just saved his life. Oh wait. 

 

Harley took a moment to gather his breath, looking down past Spider-Man’s arms to see just how far he’d fallen before finally turning back to face the hero. Peter found himself looking straight into Harley’s eyes, seeing nothing but an intensity that made his heart race even faster, which he didn’t know had been possible. He was thankful for the mask, this time not just for protecting his identity, but for covering the ridiculous blush he could already feel blooming across his cheeks. 

 

“Thanks,” he breathed quietly, a tone of wonder and sincerity that Peter could only dream would be sent his way one day when he wasn’t in the suit. When Harley would see Peter as someone worthy of being wondered at. Of being marvelled at. Of being stared at like  _ that. _

 

Peter was working on autopilot at that point, so entranced by the intensity of Harley’s gaze they he didn’t even register the next words that came from his mouth, “You’re welcome, Princess.”

 

Oh. Dear. God. 

 

If Peter had thought he was panicking before, it was nothing compared to the sheer rush of adrenaline that burst through his veins as he waited for Harley’s response. Harley, who was still clutched tightly in Peter’s arms as they dangled over a busy street, with the soft coloured light of the sunset washing the entire city in the most romantic possible light Peter had even seen in his life. Well…. Crap. 

 

Slowly Peter began to pull them back up to the roof, scared to say a word and scared to look at Harley’s expression. He considered trying to justify himself, that he was only joking. That he only meant it like Harley had been playing the part of a damsel in distress, hidden away at the top of a tall tower. But he didn’t even up saying a word. They were both far too quiet and that fact alone was enough to scare Peter into an embarrassed silence. They were two of the most talkative people Peter had ever met and with one word he’d stunned them both into silence. 

 

At last, they arrived on the roof, Harley gracefully accepting the hand up that Peter offered until they were both settled firmly on the flat surface. Peter was ready to go eject himself into the sun out of shame, only to find that when he went to move away the slight tug at his hand showed that Harley was yet to let go of him. The pair stood there, uncertain and both blushing far too furiously to be healthy. 

 

“Thanks Spider-Man,” Harley said, his voice so soft Peter could almost feel himself melting at the sound, “You’re, uh, you’re pretty great.”

 

Were there birds nearby or was that just Peter’s heart that was singing?

 

He paused, taking a moment to make sure he didn’t just stutter out an awkward response and instead decided that, y’know what? He’d committed to this now. And if Peter Parker didn’t have a chance, well, then at least Spider-Man could say what he was thinking.

 

“It was my pleasure, Princess. I’m sure you can take it from here.” And with that Peter dove off the roof yet again to swing through the streets, not turning back once to see the way Harley stood there, watching until he was finally out of sight.


	3. Chapter 3

 

“-And then I fell off the roof.”

 

Harley grinned around a mouthful of burger at the expression on Tony’s face. The man had been trying and absolutely failing not to laugh throughout the whole story of Harley’s attempt to meet Spider-Man but the moment he mentioned a teeny, tiny plummet towards the earth, that’s when Tony’s face drops. 

 

“You fell? Off a roof?!”

 

Harley reaches out his hand that is not occupied with a burger and catches one of Tony’s flailing limbs as he tries to search Harley over for injuries. “I’m fine! I promise I’m totally fine!” 

 

Tony looked up, glaring straight at Harley until the boy backed down so that Tony could finish his inspection for himself, because for whatever peculiar reason, he just didn’t seem to trust the word of a boy who freely admitted to tripping off a twenty floor building just because he got too caught up in his own dramatics. Eventually, after seeing no broken bones or significant bruises Tony leaned back. Fixing his stare right at Harley, disapproval practically radiating off him. 

 

It was almost flattering really, the way Tony cared. For a second Harley genuinely felt bad. Clearly the old man was stressed and sure, Harley probably could’ve phrased it better because god knows the man didn’t need to see any more people he loved falling through the air, but still, the concern was sweet. Plus, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel even a bit flattered that Tony obviously cared so much for him. Although perhaps the most surprising thing Harley found was that he cared just as much for the old man too. 

 

And then Tony stole Harley’s burger right out of his hand, eating half of it in one bite, and Harley liked him a little bit less.

 

“Hey!” He squarked, lunging forward to try and wrestle his lunch back. “Gimme!”

 

“Nope,” Tony declared, scooting his chair just out of Harley’s reach, “Little boys who play on rooftops don’t get a good old fashioned American cheeseburger as a reward. You get, I dunno what do teenagers hate? Salad?” Tony nodded to himself, “Yep, you’re getting a salad for dinner every night.”

 

Harley pouted, crossing his arms and slouching down as far as he could manage in his chair. Apparently his attempts to get Tony to pity him were unsuccessful because he continues to just glare at the surly teen and eat  _ his _ lunch right in front of him. “You suck.”

 

“And you fall off buildings just so you can get saved by your superhero crush.” Tony retorted with a straight face. Harley, on the other hand, held no such expression. 

 

His spluttering and stammering seemed to do nothing more than encourage Tony’s fierce gaze to slowly morph into a stupidly smug grin. 

 

“Wait,” he said, leaning forward ever so slightly as he traced Harley’s face for any sign of truth, “You  _ do _ have a crush on the Spider-Kid.” 

 

“I do not.”

 

“Do too.”

 

“Do not.”

 

“You so do.”

 

“Shut up, I do  _ not. _ ”

 

Tony’s laugh rang throughout the room, the sound echoing across the lab as he curled up in his chair, wheezing for breath all the while Harley was sat there, pouting furiously. Tony eventually resurfaced, wiping a probably fake tear from his eye.

 

“Oh kid, this is the best day of my life.” He sighed happily, “You’re honestly telling me you not only have a thing for that guy at your school, but you  _ also _ have a thing for  _ Spider-Man _ ?” Harley’s reply was so quiet he almost thought he’d gotten away with it, but then Tony’s smile seemed to impossibly widen. “You do. You like them both.” Tony’s voice was practically spilling over with amusement which of course made Harley jump right to his own defence.

 

“Okay, first of all: shut up.” Tony laughed. “Second of all, I didn’t have a ‘thing’ for Spider-Man before I met him alright? I just wanted to meet him because he’s the only Avenger-”

 

“Not an Avenger.”

 

“-Alright, the only superhero I haven’t met yet and I wanted to see if he was actually a good person. And I also wanted to make sure he didn’t say anything to Rogers because I’ve nearly convinced him I’m Spider-Man and it’s very important to me that he doesn’t find out I’m lying.”

 

Tony breathed deeply as he obviously had to refrain himself from rolling his eyes at the teen, “Why, might I ask, do you insist on Captain America continuing to think you’re Spider-Man?”

 

Harley scoffed, “Obviously if I tell him I’m lying about that he’ll start being suspicious of everything else I’ve told him. And that means he’s going to stop believing that you’re the one putting all the Iron Man themed underwear in his cupboard. Or maybe he won’t believe me when I tell him that I was once elected Mayor of Rose Hill after that time I saved the town from invading aliens.”

 

Tony’s disappointed head shaking paused at that last sentence, “How the hell did you manage to convince him  _ you _ stopped an alien attack? You’re a kid.”

 

Harley smirked, “Ah but I’m a kid with freaky spider powers.”

 

“You are not-” Tony gave up before he even finished his sentence. “Y’know what? I don’t even care about that. I refuse to care about that. Let’s go back to when I was making fun of your love life, that was amusing.” 

 

Harley’s scowl was unsurprisingly met with even more mirth as Tony resolutely refused to acknowledge that the teenager he was housing currently had a 100% success rate in fooling a legitimate national icon into believing whatever it was Harley thought was funniest at the time. Instead, Tony focused on the tiniest hint of red on Harley’s cheeks.

 

“So…” He waggled his eyebrows, which Harley was pretty sure was just because Tony Stark was an asshole, “Spider-Man huh?”

 

“I’m not in love with Spider-Man, I don’t even know who’s behind that mask and like, he clearly has a fursona so-”

 

“Woah, hold up. What?”

 

“Are you really going to make me explain what that is?”

 

“No… no I think it’s best if I don’t know.”

 

“Yeah that’s probably true.” Harley grinned at him, pleased to see just how much defeat and regret was already lining Tony’s expression. He allowed the man half a second to process what Harley had just said before Harley promptly stood up, taking advantage of his distraction, and ran for the door.

 

He was already halfway out of the room by the time Tony bothered to yell out to him. “Harley! You can’t keep leaving conversations like that!” 

 

“You’ll never stop me.”

 

-

  
  


“Harley.” 

 

“Shh.”

 

“Harley.”

 

“Shhhh.”

 

MJ glared. Harley grinned. The robot shushed her again. 

 

“Harley if your goddamn-”

 

“Shhhhh.”

 

“-robot doesn’t stop interru-”

 

“Shhh.’

 

“-pting me I’m going to feed it to Shreddy.’

 

“Shhhh.”

 

Harley leaned forward, eyes alight with humour. He mouthed out his response at her, but Peter was pretty sure she was just refusing to understand. Her glare stayed exactly where it was until she seemed to realise Harley wouldn’t be succumbing to her wants. Instead, she changed tactics and decided to glare at Peter, who was far more likely to submit to the pressure. Not that anyone could blame him of course, Harley seemed to be the singular exception to the universal rule that “MJ glaring means MJ gets what she wants.” So it definitely did not come as a surprise when Peter leaned down to tap at the button hidden on the back of Shouty. Shouty was halfway through shushing him for the noise he was making as the seat squeaked beneath his shifting weight, but that was put to a stop the second Peter pressed the off button. 

 

Harley stared up at him in betrayal, “Dude…”

 

“If you didn’t want me to stop him you shouldn’t have told me where Shouty’s off button was.” Peter paused, “Also you shouldn’t have named him Shouty. That’s not, like, relevant to this discussion but I just thought I should remind you that was a dumb name.”

 

Beside him, Peter could almost swear Ned’s cough sounded suspiciously like the name “Spider-Man”, but clearly he was mistaken because there is no way his friend would be mocking his superhero identity that was perfectly in line with that of Iron Man, also there would be no way that he would mention that name around the cute New Guy who  _ didn’t know his identity, right Ned?! _ Meanwhile Harley, who remained oblivious to the epic staring showdown that was happening between the other two boys was pouting down at his newest robot who sat suddenly, and ironically silent, on the floor below. “I can’t believe you stopped Shouty from doing his job Peter. We’re so betrayed.”

 

In turn, Peter simply rolled his eyes, “It’s not like anyone actually told you to make a robot that told people to shut up.”

 

“We’re in a library!” He protested.

 

“Your robots have been tormenting students for three weeks already Harley,” MJ deadpanned, “I’m sure you can manage to allow this one to stop harassing  _ us _ at the very least.”

 

Harley’s answering smile was filled with far more pride than he probably deserved to have, but Peter sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to make him stop. Plus, he knew MJ had enjoyed all the anarchy those bots had caused just as much as Harley did. Peter knew for a fact that she had been a particular fan of the one that followed students around until it could tie their shoelaces up together. Peter himself had been a fan of Knotty, especially when she spent an entire day following just Flash around, and he in turn couldn’t help but produce the single most uncomfortable looking smile Peter had ever witnessed as he tried not to let Harley know how much the robot was pissing him off. It was brilliant. 

 

Shouty though, was Harley’s newest pride and joy as he would refuse to allow any noise at all go un-shushed. They had been wondering why Harley was so insistent that they all met up in the library to study right up until Shouty made his appearance. What Harley clearly hadn’t accounted for though was MJ steadfast determination to actually complete her studies. 

 

“Fine,” Harley eventually relented, “I’ll tell Shouty to leave us alone.” 

 

MJ nodded and quickly returned to ducking her head into her book, already ignoring her friends’ presence. Ned too had lost interest in the conversation and was flicking through his own work which simply left Peter to watch the way Harley lovingly cradled his little robot, fixing his settings and letting it roam free amongst the shelves again. And by ‘watch’, Peter really meant ogle. 

 

It was embarrassing really, just how quickly he had gotten attached to Harley. From that very first second he’d seen him enter the school, to now. Peter was practically attuned to the boy’s every movement. He watched the way he would stretch back in his seat, his body arching with the movement and his face surprisingly soft when not distracted by his mission to cause as much pandemonium as possible. Peter had payed more attention to noticing every little quirk Harley possessed, than he had honestly spent on his school work in the last month of having him in their school. It was distracting, but Peter sure as hell wasn’t complaining. 

 

Hell, he found Harley occupying his mind more often than not these days. At first being Spider-Man had been his primary relief from the unending distraction that was Harley Keener, until even that stopped working. 

 

-

 

_ Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say i- _

 

“Hey Princess.”

 

_ … oops.  _

 

Any embarrassment Peter might have felt at using that nickname again was quickly replaced by pure mirth as he took in the way Harley visibly shivered at the name. 

 

“S-Spider-Man?” He asked, taking in Peter’s upside down figure as he hung before him. “You’re the wrong way up.”

 

Peter grinned beneath the mask, happy to see just how bad Harley was at covering up his embarrassment in front of Spider-Man. Hell, Harley was like a whole new person in front of Spidey than he was at school. Maybe that’s why Peter kept finding himself “running into” the guy as he walked home. Peter was determined not to actually follow him all the way because that would be genuinely creepy and there were lines he probably shouldn’t cross as a superhero, even if he happened to also be a dumb teenager with a crush. But he would definitely be lying if he pretended he didn’t love coming up to Harley and surprising him whenever he found a chance. 

 

“You’re just jealous because gravity still affects you.” 

 

Harley took one look at the thin string of web that Peter was hanging from before reaching into his pocket, his hand whipping forth so quickly Peter didn’t even notice the screwdriver flying through the air until the moment it severed his web and Peter came crashing down. 

 

“Ow.”

 

Above him, Harley’s smug face made its way into his field of vision. He leaned over the fallen hero and with absolutely no sympathy at all declared that “It seems like physics hasn’t abandoned you yet Spidey.”

 

“That’s just what you think.” Peter retorted, shifting his arms underneath his head as a makeshift pillow to make it seem like he regularly enjoyed chilling on the sidewalk. “You haven’t seen me walk up walls yet.”

 

Harley paused, clearly deliberating if Peter was just bluffing, “Can you… can you actually do that?” Peter nodded. “Show me.”

 

“You’re a demanding Princess aren’t you?” Peter teased even as he clambered oh so gracefully to his feet. “As your highness wishes.” He swept his arms out in a bow, ignoring Harley’s spluttered protests and proceeded to lift one leg, resting his foot parallel against a wall. Harley watched the display critically, his arms crossed over his chest and a single eyebrow raised in disbelief at Peter’s exaggerated antics.

 

“I don’t think standing there counts.” 

 

“Oh?” Peter asked, barely containing his smile, “Would this help?”

 

He lifted the other foot which was still supporting his weight on the ground. Immediately gravity’s pull on him increased, his leg straining just a bit to keep his body perfectly still, hovering a few inches above the ground. Harley’s mouth dropped open half an inch before he resolutely shut it, pretending like he wasn’t impressed. Ah. So it was a challenge he wanted. 

 

Peter grinned, lifting his leg up until it too rested against the brick, and slowly, as though it was barely an inconvenience, Peter let his torso drop down until he was standing perpendicular to the ground. He turned on the spot, nothing but his feet attached to the side of the building and his own core strength holding him up, and stared at Harley. 

 

Harley, who looked like he was having the time of his life watching Peter show off for him. 

 

“Okay so I’m gonna need you to explain  _ exactly _ how the hell you’re doing that.” He said and stepped forward to look closer. Peter struggled not to preen under the attention he was getting. He let harley poke at him to see if he would fall over. He sat down on the wall when asked, did a cartwheel against the bricks and both tried and failed to do a pirouette. On the bright side it made Harley laugh which meant it was pretty much the only thing Peter ever wanted to do again for the rest of his life, just to see if he could make Harley make that wonderful sound once more. 

 

Somehow it became a habit. Peter would find Harley wandering through the city. He’d show off to the sound of Harley’s cheers and laughter. Harley would pester him to reveal who was under the mask. They’d plan how best to convince Cap that Harley was the one under the mask. Peter would show Harley the best place to get churros. Harley would talk about his friends at school. Peter would pester him about the guy he kept saying was such a  _ good friend, yes they  _ are  _ just friends, Spidey stop looking at me like that, I am not telling you his name.  _

 

It was nice. Somehow, without ever planning it, Peter found that Spider-Man and Harley were nearly as good friends as he and Peter were. 

  
  


-

  
  


Harley had been wondering how long he was going to get away it. The answer seemed to be three hours and forty two minutes.

 

“Harley?” Tony asked, thinly veiled exasperation lining his voice, “Would you like to explain to me why there is currently  _ glitter  _ in my hair?”

 

He let the video on his phone play out, pleased when the sound of foot tapping grew ever louder as Tony impatiently waited for Harley to deign and look over at him. It was tempting. But Harley was a seasoned little shit, and he knew that the longer he lay in bed, eyes trained solely on his phone without giving Tony even a second thought, the better it would be. At last, sounds stopped filling the room, leaving only the rustle of sheets to fill the silence as Harley shifted around. He managed to keep a straight face for all of two seconds before bursting into laughter. 

 

Tony Stark, billionaire, philanthropist, and actual real life superhero, was standing in his doorway covered head to toe in purple sparkles. He was like a walking disco ball that was shaped like an irritated genius. And this was now officially the best plan Harley had ever come up with. 

 

He stifled his laughter just long enough to answer, “I would not like to explain, no.”

 

“So you had nothing to do with the robot perched over the doorway to my lab? And nothing to do with programming it to pour an entire bucket of glitter onto my head the moment I stepped through?”

 

“Oh no. I definitely had everything to do with that. I just didn’t want you to yell at me.” Harley said, his smile never slipping because it turned out to be rather difficult to be intimidated by a man whose beard looked like a miniature galaxy. 

 

Tony sighed. 

 

“I regret letting you into my house.” 

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“Maybe. But I still get to hate you for this.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

Tony threw his arms up in exasperation, a shower of glitter cascading to the ground in his wake. “Can’t you just let me be a disapproving adult for once instead of calling me out like this?”

 

Harley paused. “What did you just say?”

 

“Stop calling me out?”

 

He peered at Tony, who simply stood there confusedly. “How do you know to say that? That’s a teenager thing to say. I’m the only teenager in your life and I’m pretty sure I never taught you that. You’re too old to know things.”

 

“Okay,” Tony huffed, “You have got to stop calling me old. And I know other teenagers. I know my intern.”

 

Harley scoffed. “Oh please. You keep mentioning him but you refuse to tell me his name so obviously he’s not real.” Harley pressed on, ignoring Tony’s skeptical expression, “Look, if he were real you would’ve let me meet him. You keep telling me I’d like him but every time I ask where he is, he “just so happens” to have left the building. I’ve literally never seen him in this tower once. Ergo, he’s a cover up.”

 

Tony grinned, “A cover up? What the hell could he be a cover up for?” 

 

Ah, here was Harley’s moment to prove he wasn’t nearly as oblivious as Tony seemed to think. He’d been paying attention to this so-called intern. Tony never shut up about the guy so it was difficult not to. But, what he obviously hadn’t counted on was the fact that Harley was a nosey little shit and he’d checked the website, there was a strict rule that all interns had to be college level applicants at least. But Tony insisted his intern was still in high school. Therefore there was only one obviously conclusion to be wrought: “The intern” was a cover up for Spider-Man. 

 

Harley had met the guy. Hell, he’d somehow become friends with him, and he knew for damn sure that no matter how much he tried to lower his voice and insisting he was older, Spider-Man was absolutely a teen. Which meant that every time Tony would offhandedly remark that “My intern used to make bots like that one, Harley, but he got too busy to stick with his robotics club I’m pretty sure.” Or that “Oh, that’s the video my intern was showing me last week.” Well, obviously that was just Spider-Man. 

 

And Harley would definitely be lying if it didn’t make him love the guy just a little bit more. Tony would hardly ever stop insisting that Harley and his intern would get on, little did he know they already did. Hell, Harley himself was almost tempted to ask Spidey out on a date because it wasn’t exactly like he was shy. Of course, he wasn’t going to until he knew Spider-Man’s identity because Harley didn’t think he could ever say he was dating someone legitimately named “Spider-Man” without laughing at how dumb that was. There was also the teeny tiny problem that Harley was also maybe, just possibly, falling for his classmate too. 

 

God, it was a mess. Every time he found himself thinking about Spider-Man, the way he laughed, the way he was willing to walk with Harley in the afternoons until the moment duty called, the way he made dumb puns at every possible opportunity, well, every time that happened and Harley found a herd of butterflies suddenly occupying his stomach that’s when he couldn’t help but think of Peter. Peter who showed up with a new dorky pun on his shirt every day. Peter who practically jump at the opportunities to help someone out. Peter who loved his friends more than anything and would make that known through the way he would hug them at every chance he got, hugs that would make Harley’s heart flutter. 

 

He just couldn’t seem to separate his thought about one from the other. It was a problem. 

 

But anyway, back on track. Harley knew Tony’s so called intern was totally a cover up for Spider-Man and he happily told the man that very thing.

 

Tony just laughed. He laughed loudly. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so much. And Harley suddenly had a sneaking suspicion he was missing something here. It wasn’t exactly the answer he was looking for but before he could question him, Tony suddenly straightened and tried to rearrange his face back into something that resembled disapproval but Harley could very well see the latent amusement twinkling behind his eyes.

 

“Now, that was very funny Harley. Seriously, I don’t think anyone has ever accused my intern of being a fake before, so thanks for the laugh. But I do need you to stop pouring glitter over doorways because one day it will be Pepper who walks through them not me, and if that happens, well, it was nice knowing you kid.” Tony made to leave, his shoulders still shaking with a few stray giggles, but he caught himself at the last second, twirling on the spot to glare at Harley and sternly warned him not to dare set that robot to glitter bomb him again because he was heading to the kitchen and if he ended up looking even more like a walking music festival he was throwing Harley out the window. 

 

Obviously Harley took that as a challenge. The second Tony rounded the corner Harley was already bounding out of bed. He skidded through the halls, checking at every turn to see if Tony was catching up. Thank god he was busy texting or whatever. The old man was heading upstairs so slowly that Harley had enough time to whip out his own phone and tell his bot to haul ass to the kitchen. 

 

He’d practically run all the way there but it was totally worth it because he managed to get a seat at the island counter that was just out of view of anyone entering through the door but still close enough that he would be able to see the exact moment Tony realised he’d been duped again. Harley was practically vibrating in his seat as he saw his little robot scuttle into the room, a fresh batch of red and blue glitter sitting in the bucket attached to its back as it began to climb up the walls. Harley 100% stole the idea from a conversation he’d had with Spidey earlier that week when the guy complained he’d come up with so many cool pranks but he couldn’t ever do them in the mask because Spider-Man was meant to be a role model or whatever. And when Harley asked why he didn’t just do them as his civilian self, he’d gotten a level glare and Spidey asking whether or not he thought his friends and family might just be suspicious about why he could sit on ceilings. So Spidey couldn’t do it. But hell if that’d stop Harley from following through. In his honour of course. 

 

Just as the robot settled in place, bucket almost precariously full and hovering over the entrance, Harley heard footsteps. He shuffled forward, a grin already plastered to his face as the footsteps drew ever closer. This was going to be the best moment of Harley’s entire life and he could barely stop himself from leaping up to push Tony into walking even faster because the man was taking his damn time. 

 

The footsteps were almost there, just inches away from where Harley would be able to see him. Softly, a familiar voice called out. 

 

Familiar. Not because that was the voice that had just been telling him off for getting glitter in his hair, no, this was a voice that was familiar from hours spent hanging out together. Oh God Da-

 

“Mr Stark? You wanted to see me?”

 

And that’s when the glitter fell. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh I’m sorry,” came Tony Goddamn Stark’s incredibly insincere, and entirely amused voice, “Am I interrupting?”

 

Harley turned to face the man so slowly that he had time to think of fourteen separate and equally devastating insults that he could throw at him for the goddamn smirk. He was  _ smirking _ . Not smiling or grinning, no, he was fucking smirking because Tony Goddamn Stark had just tricked Harley into pouring a bucket full of glitter onto his crush. His very cute, suddenly sparkly, and entirely confused crush who was still standing there, frozen in shock as he stared at Harley while stray specks of glitter rained down around him. 

 

“H-Harley?” Peter said, somehow ignoring the way Tony had just appeared from behind Harley (he totally used the other entrance but still, Harley was taken by surprise because he was a bit busy staring right back at Peter). “What are you doing here?”

 

Harley struggled to focus on the question. Instead he was watching the way the red and blue of the glitter was getting all over Peter’s hair and he was suddenly very busy suppressing the urge to go over there and run his hands through it. It’s not his fault that Peter’s hair looked so soft and pretty and-

 

“Huh?” Was he meant to be talking? Oh yeah. What he was doing here. Right. “I live here?”

 

Peter finally turned to look at Tony and Harley was honestly shocked to see the panic in his eyes. What did Peter even have to panic about? Tony clearly loved having him around if the way he literally never shut up about him was any indication. And yes, Harley had now figured out that he was a little bit wrong when he’d thought that the intern was made up. Clearly Peter was the intern, not Spider-Man. Harley wasn’t  _ that _ dumb. 

 

But that still didn’t explain the panic. Peter knew Tony, and Harley knew Tony, and Peter and Harley knew each other. So things should be normal right? Plus Peter was just an intern so it wasn’t like he spent enough time around Tony to tell him any of the embarrassing shit Harley knew about him. He wouldn’t have told Tony about that time he missed his mouth at lunch and ended up pouring soup down the  _ inside _ of his shirt. It’s not like they would talk about anything other than work. They wouldn’t talk about school or family or any embarrassing crushes or-

 

Crushes. Embarrassing crushes. That’s the kind of thing an intern wouldn’t tell their boss but it is  _ exactly _ the kind of thing Harley told Tony. 

 

Tony, who was still standing there watching the teens go through all five stages of grief at once. Tony, who had pestered Harley until he revealed the name of his stupid crush. Tony, who had immediately started laughing. Tony, who had just told Harley he was going to the kitchen, and then had obviously told Peter to do the same  _ knowing _ that Harley was planning on pranking him the second he walked through the door. 

 

Fuck. 

 

-

  
  


Peter wondered whether or not he would be able to get away with murdering Tony Stark. 

 

Upon reflection he decided no, he probably wouldn’t. Especially not if he tried to kill him while Harley was still standing there right in front of them. And speaking of Harley…

 

Peter shifted his gaze, tilting his head just a fraction so he could glance at the boy, only for a torrent of glitter to cascade over his face. Peter scrunched up his nose, trying to get it off of him before he did something embarrassing like sneezing sparkles at his friend. Peter... well, Peter didn’t know what to do right now. He couldn’t kill Mr Stark for reasons like ethics and stuff, neither could he run away and hide right now, and even if he did manage to get away Harley being Harley would probably corner him at school and demand Peter explain why he knows Tony Stark and never mentioned it. Actually hold on. Why did Harley know Mr Stark?

 

“H-Harley?” Peter said, immediately regretting the way his voice came out stuttered and unsure, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Huh?” Harley seemed distracted. Peter could see the way his eyes swept over Peter’s hair which had already been a disaster enough before someone decided to dunk him in his own body weight’s worth of  glitter. God, this whole situation might be the singularly most embarrassing moment of Peter’s life. Harley could barely even look him in the eyes, he was probably far too busy watching the way Peter looked like a rejected disco ball. “I live here?”

 

_ Uh... what? _

 

Finally, against his better judgement, Peter looked at Mr Stark. He was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and the smuggest grin Peter had even seen in his life plastered across his face. Harley lived here? In the tower? With Tony Stark? 

 

Holy crap. Harley lived here in the tower with Tony Stark. 

 

Panic bubbled up in Peter’s chest. How long had he been living here? Had he ever seen Spider-Man come to the tower? Is that why he kept talking to him? Peter wracked his brain to try and remember if he had ever been so stupid as to be anywhere in the tower without his mask on. But no. He was probably safe from that. Knowing Harley, if he’d found out Peter was Spider-Man he would  _ not _ have shut up so that at least was one problem Peter didn’t have to deal with today.

 

But that didn't mean he was off the hook. Of course not, because why would life suddenly start being easy for him? Peter kept staring at Mr Stark, absently hoping that if he just stood still long enough maybe all his problems would leave. Strangely enough that plan didn’t exactly work. What did happen though was that Mr Stark was looking right back at him knowingly and it was… disconcerting. He didn’t seem to be implying Harley knew about Spider-Man, but he wasn’t denying Harley’s claim that he lived at the tower either. Peter, in conclusion, had no idea what was happening. 

 

Harley apparently lived at Stark Tower which was already shocking enough on it’s own that Peter couldn’t help but let him mind circle back to it every few seconds. It made sense, to an extent, Peter had of course been walking Harley home for weeks now. And, if he thought back, he was pretty sure the first time Spider-Man had offered to accompany him Harley had just said “Yeah I live in that direction” and pointed right at the Tower. Upon reflection… that might have been a bit of a hint. 

 

So cool. Harley lived at the tower. Which means he must be pretty close with Mr Stark… which means… oh god. That means they talked. They’re friends. Obviously close enough that Harley would’ve told Mr Stark which school he goes to and Mr Stark already knew that Peter went there too. So that means that time Mr Stark not-at-all-subtly asked about his crush? 

 

Well, at the very least, Peter has now learnt that Mr Stark is an asshole. 

 

_ He knew!  _ He totally knew that Peter was crushing on Harley and then he’d been the one to tell Peter to come into the kitchen where Harley was obviously going to prank him and now Harley was just standing there looking redder than a tomato. Peter was annoyed at how distractingly cute that was. He was busy trying to be mad at Mr Stark right now but there Harley was, stumbling over his words as he tried to choke out an apology to Peter.

 

“Aw man, I- I’m sorry Peter. I didn’t mean to- I mean, I didn’t even  _ know _ you were here. I was trying to be a dick to Tony not  _ you _ . Shit. Please don’t think I’m awful. If anyone is awful right now really it’s Tony.”

 

Peter lasted three whole seconds before cracking a smile at the earnest way Harley was trying to get him to blame an actual superhero for the fact Harley had just tipped a bucket of craft supplies on his head. Actually, how had Harley done that? Peter turned on the spot, looking up above the doorway where a robot perched, happily awaiting further instructions on whose hair to ruin next. 

 

“What’s this one’s name?” he asked, looking back to see Harley’s brows furrowed in confusion. Right, maybe Peter shouldn’t just ignore literally the only sincere apology he’d ever heard Harley give just so he could ask about the cool robot that had somehow managed to circumvent his spidey sense. Of course that didn’t mean Peter wasn’t currently freaking out internally at the fact that  _ Harley Keener  _ apparently cared enough about  _ him _ that he was honestly standing there waiting for Peter to let him know he wasn’t mad. He’d never felt so important in his entire life. 

 

“Huh?” Harley asked before finally remembering the robot still observing them from the doorway, “Oh that’s Bucket Hat.”

 

Peter rolled his eyes, “That’s really not one of your best, huh?”

 

“Uh excuse me, Bucket Hat is brilliant and I love him. Stop disrespecting my son.”

 

“Your son?”

 

“Yup. My poor innocent child.”

 

“Innocent? He literally just cursed me to being a walking Sweet Sixteenth birthday party.”

 

“Yeah. And he says you’re welcome.”

 

Somehow, the two of them had moved forward, each stepping closer with each retort until Peter found he was nearly nose to nose with Harley. Time seemed to slow as Peter became aware of just how close they were. If he were tempted he could lean forward. Just a few more inches and he would be ki-

 

“Ahem.”

 

_ Oh god… Mr Stark is still standing right there.  _

 

“Yes. Hello children. Guess who is still standing right here.”

 

“Is it a living buzzkill?” Harley asked innocently, his eyes never straying from Peter’s. Both of them could easily hear the way Mr Stark scoffed behind them. Harley finally broke eye contact just so he could properly face Mr Stark. “Oh no. It’s just Tony Stark, local eccentric billionaire who doesn’t think it’s important to inform his two favourite teenagers that not only do they both know him but they both  _ know _ each other.”

 

Absently, Peter wondered why Harley had put so much emphasis on the word “know”, but any panic he had about Harley finding out about either his dumb crush or his dumb secret identity was quickly squashed by the intensity of his expression. Whatever Harley was referring to was something between him and Mr Stark. Which is fine. Peter is fine with that. He doesn’t expect Harley to talk to Mr Stark about him. Hell, he doesn’t expect that he’s ever even come up in conversation. They were classmates, maybe friends, nothing more. 

 

Mr Stark raised an eyebrow at Harley’s tone, “Oh really? I’m the buzzkill here. Pretty sure I’m not the one who was planning to ruin someone else’s suit which costs more than your entire house.”

 

“Peter’s not even wearing a suit!”

 

“Yeah,” Peter chimed in, “and I’ve never owned anything that costs more than like, five bucks.” At Mr Stark’s pointed glare Peter suddenly remembered that he may or may not be in possession of a multimillion dollar suit that he used to go out and fight crime in. And the guy who gave him that suit might be standing right in front of him. Whoops. Peter was going to be quiet now.

 

“Yeah!” Harley agreed, not noticing Peter’s panicked thoughts, “He’s cheap as hell! So I can’t be the buzzkill old man, that’s still your job.”

 

“And who, might I ask, was the  _ intended _ target of your little prank?”

 

“Ah… yes. Well…” Harley faltered and looked to Peter like he had any idea of what was actually happening. Hell, Peter was still busy trying to subtly shake off the remaining sparkles that coated his skin. He was not being either subtle or successful in any way.

 

“Yeah that’s what I thought  _ princess _ ,” Mr Stark said smugly, and oh. Oh no he did not. Mr Stark did  _ not  _ just call Harley ‘princess’ while Peter was standing  _ right there _ because that means that not only did Mr Stark watch the baby monitor footage of Spider-Man talking to Harley, but now he was mentioning it out loud in front of both of them. Harley, at least, seemed to miss the reference, probably because from the little bit that Peter had seen from their relationship, they were more of the ‘we’re mean because we love eachother’ type of friends. So Mr Stark calling him princess probably wasn’t out of the ordinary. But if that damn smirk on his face was anything to go off, then Mr Stark knew  _ exactly _ what he was doing. Peter wanted to revisit his earlier plan of murdering Tony Stark. “Now that both of you are aware of each other’s presence and also now that you’ve covered my entire kitchen floor in a toddler’s heaven, can you two scram?”

 

“Scram?” Peter asked, “Why do you want us to scram?  _ You  _ told me to come here in the first place!”

 

Harley faced Peter, making an expression that probably was meant to convey his mutual confusion at Mr Stark’s antics. However Peter totally missed it because he was watching the way Mr Stark was mouthing the word “matchmaking” right at him. 

 

Holy crap. Mr Stark was trying to set Peter up on a date. 

 

Fuck. 

 

-

  
  


The streets seemed awfully full of people today, Harley thought, which somehow managed to both piss him off and make him eternally thankful that he had an excuse for why he wasn’t talking to Peter; because every time they’d tried someone had just pushed straight between them, halting their conversations immediately. To be honest, Harley probably needed the excuse. Normally he and Peter could barely shut up when they were together and yeah, Harley did kind of wanna talk to him now but he couldn’t seem to look at his friend without the single most embarrassing blush in the world creeping across his face. Of course everything that was happening was Tony’s fault. It was Tony’s fault that Bucket Hat had pranked Peter not Tony. And more importantly, it was his fault that Harley could barely look the other boy in the eye because the second Peter had been out of the room to try and clear up some of the glitter, Harley had whirled on the man demanding to know what he was up to, and like the smug bastard he was, Tony had simply said “matchmaking” and pushed Harley right through the door, where he obviously ended up crashing into Peter. Because  _ of course _ he did. 

 

After Harley had hastily gotten off of Peter and masked his surprise at how goddamn  _ buff _ he was under that dorky sweater, they’d left the tower, both furiously ignoring Tony’s maniacal laughter. An awkward pause later found Peter recommending that “Well since we’re already here wanna go get some churros? I know a place.”

 

And so Harley found himself wandering through New York, trailing after Peter’s wake as he led them towards the promise of snacks.

 

“Yeah, man I swear they’re like the best churros that- Oh, excuse me madame - Like the  _ best _ churros Harley because - Oh sorry didn’t mean to bump into you sir! - this old lady let me have one when I gave her directions to - ‘scuse me, coming through - directions to the Washington Bridge and then she was all - pardon, can I just get past you here? Thanks! - she was all ‘you can get them on the corner near 5th’ so that’s where we’re going alright?”

 

Harley nodded absently, a tiny smile tugged at his lips though as he watched Peter swerving in and out of the crowd, maybe the only one to actually apologise every time he bumped into anyone. Harley was becoming increasing impressed as he watched Peter; no matter how distracted he got by the stories he was telling Peter managed to evade the oncoming people instinctively. It almost looked like he was dancing. His movement so fluid and elegant Harley couldn’t help but be reminded of a gymnast. Or, if his stupid emotions weren’t getting in the way, and Harley wasn’t projecting his stupid crushes on to each other, well then Harley would probably go so far as to say Peter reminded him of Spider-Man.

 

But then Peter ran into a building so… maybe they weren’t  _ that _ similar. 

 

Harley’s laughter was interrupted by a flash. 

 

He blinked furiously against the sudden light that was blinding him. The glare subsided and Harley found himself staring straight down the lens of a camera. 

 

“Sorry kid,” the man behind the camera said, “But we’ve been trying to get pictures of Stark’s ward for months. Didn’t even know the rumours were true ‘till now.” The man took another few shots; probably of Harley’s face frozen in confused shock.

 

“Hey man,” Peter’s voice suddenly piped up behind him. Harley felt a firm hand clasp on his shoulder, almost possessively. He ignored the thrill that seemed to shoot up his body at the touch. “Could you maybe stop harassing my friend?”

 

Harley turned to Peter in surprise, not once in their entire friendship had he heard the guy sound so assertive. Peter looked back cooly, and Harley would totally be lying if he said he didn’t find him at least forty three percent more attractive in that moment than he ever had before. Then Peter leaned in closer, whispering into Harley’s ear and all he could do was hope that the way he shivered wasn’t as obvious as he thought. “Don’t worry, Mr Stark taught me how to deal with reporters. I got this.”

 

He’d just moved to face the reporter when another series of flashes went off in their faces.

 

“Aw kid, you are gonna make me a fortune.” The reporter grinned, “Stark’s ward  _ and _ intern? This is my lucky day.”

 

“Hey- Wait! no! “ Peter spluttered and went to grab the guy who was already slipping away into the crowd. 

 

“Peter just let him go. What’s the worst that could happen?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you might catch that i've added an extra chapter! turns out i have,, so many plans for this fic  
> also hi feel free to come yell at me on tumblr @ mauverawrites


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *obligatory apology that im so late updating again* sorry guys exams and uni have been a lot lately, whoops

 

“Parker.”

 

“Eugene.” Peter replied absently, not worried about the other boy’s furious glare. Beside him, MJ huffed out a half hearted laugh. Peter was pretty sure she was actually pretty proud of him for finally listening to her advice that calling Flash ‘Euguene’ was pretty much guaranteed to get a better response than any witty one liner he could ever possibly come up with on his own. 

 

“What the hell are you playing at?”

 

Aw. Looks like Peter wouldn’t be able to escape this little impromptu interrogation after all. He sighed and finally dragged his eyes away from the book he’d been blearily staring at for hours so that he could face Flash head on. Honestly, he was a little surprised to see the sheer venom in the guy’s expression. He took a moment to run through every interaction he’d had with Flash over the last few weeks to see if there was anything that stood out as being worthy of this vehemence. Maybe Flash was still pissed about that time Peter had escaped the vengeance of one of Harley’s robots and Flash very much hadn’t. Not like it’s Peter’s fault that Harley thought it’d be a good idea to build a bot that shot confetti into the face of anybody who got an answer wrong in class. Admittedly, Peter could’ve probably guessed that Flash would be mad that he’d walked out of physics looking like a furious pinata while Peter had come out confetti free. 

 

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” He said, careful not to bring up the confetti incident just yet. He wasn’t quite sure he was emotionally mature enough to own up to just how hilarious he’d found it when Flash had spent the rest of the day sneering at him with yellow confetti pieces stuck in his eyebrows. 

 

Flash grimaced at Peter before reaching into his bag and ripping out a magazine. Okay… so not  _ exactly _ what Peter was expecting. He leaned over to examine the offending article and wondered why Flash felt it necessary to get mad at Peter for the existence of a business gossip magazine. Actually, Peter hadn’t even known those were a thing but judging by the headline that read “Danny Rand: Revolutionary CEO or Thundering Dumbass?!”, apparently they were. 

 

“Huh?” Peter asked, genuine confusion lining his voice, “What does this have to do with me?”   

 

Flash spluttered for a few seconds before reaching down to turn the page and jabbing angrily at the image that Peter could now see was plastered across a double page spread of the magazine. An uncomfortably familiar sight greeted him. That sight, of course, being his own face. 

 

The glossy image featured him and Harley, pressed right up against one another. Peter’s arm slung protectively over Harley’s shoulders, and he loomed over his friend, staring straight down at the camera. Peter could barely recognise the fierce expression he was wearing in that picture. His eyes hooded and intense. His lips pressed tight, daring the photographer to take another shot.  Beside him, Harley’s expression was one of frozen confusion. If Peter didn’t know better he would even guess that the confusion was stemming more from Peter’s sudden closeness than the camera being shoved in his face. But he did know better. 

 

Right?   
  


Well, regardless of what Harley may or may not have been thinking, the magazine was still sitting right there in front of him. Plastering his face across the news. 

 

Oops.

 

“Well?” Flash demanded. “What is this?”

 

MJ, who had bothered to look up from her own book to peer over Peter’s shoulder at the magazine, returned his gaze lazily. “Looks like Peter and Harley were just spending time together, Eugene.”

 

“Yes,” Flash said through gritted teeth, “But why the  _ hell _ did a  _ reporter _ take photos. What were you doing to Harley that made this guy pay attention, huh? And why did you make up this whole ‘Stark’s ward’ thing up?” He planted his hands on the desk, leaning forward until he was practically looming over Peter who was still sitting there reading through the article that accompanied the picture. “What. Is. Your. Game?”

 

Peter and MJ opened their mouths in unison. Both ready to go with a snarky retort but before either of them could get a word out a fourth voice unexpectedly joined their conversation.

 

“Everything good here?” Harley asked, a tight lipped smile on his face that betrayed the fact he had evidently been listening in to the discussion for some time now. Flash spluttered yet again at the sudden arrival of Harley. He jumped back up to his full height, getting right out of Peter’s personal space as he turned to adress Harley. Not that Harley seemed at all interested in whatever lies Flash was about to spew because he was already reaching out to swipe the magazine out from under Peter’s nose. He deflected Peter’s half hearted attempts to nab it back, swatting at his hand until he was left in peace to peruse the magazine. 

 

“Huh,” he finally declared after a tense silence, “They didn’t really get my best angle did they?”

 

“You don’t have one,” MJ said at the same time Flash eagerly replied that “Of course they did. You, for one, look great.”

 

Peter ignored Flash’s jab at him so he could turn around and high five MJ. Not that he agreed with her of course. Harley looked good in any and every photo ever taken of him Peter was pretty sure. But he didn’t become friends with MJ just to ignore it when she successfully sassed every single person on this planet. 

 

“Thanks Flash,” Harley said dismissively, still staring at the article, a puzzled frown creased between his eyebrows. “This sucks”

 

Everyone looked at him curiously, waiting for him to elaborate. “I just mean,” he said slowly, “I didn’t plan for everyone to know who I am yet.”

 

“Why not?” Flash asked, genuinely lost. “You actually live with Tony Stark?”

 

Peter didn’t want to point out that the sudden awe in Flash’s voice seemed a little unearned considering he’d spent the last two years mocking the man since the very second that Peter claimed to have known him. But now that Harley was the one who knew Mr Stark? Well  _ now _ he was suddenly cool again. Pssht. 

 

“Huh? Oh yeah. I live with the guy.”

 

“What?!” If it was humanly possible, Peter was pretty sure Flash would’ve physically transformed his face into the heart eyes emoji at the mere idea of Harley hanging out with Iron Man. “That’s so cool. You’re so cool.” Harley nodded along absently, still not really paying attention.

 

Peter watched the way he bit his lip in concentration. He was clearly worried about something. It was all Peter could do to drag his gaze back up from Harley’s mouth and look him in the eyes.”You alright?”

 

Harley glanced at him for a second before his eyes flitted away. He looked… well, he looked almost embarrassed. It took everything in him for Peter not to feel a twinge of pain at the clear dismissal. Whatever was on Harley’s mind was something he didn’t want Peter to know. He certainly didn’t seem to be having any trouble looking at Flash or MJ. He was even facing them when he finally decided to answer Peter’s question.

 

“I’m fine. Really. There’s just… someone I didn’t want to find out that I knew Tony because he also knows him and it’s just… I didn’t want it to be weird. But now, if this magazine is out there? I guess he’s gonna know and it’s going to make everything  _ way _ more complicated.”

 

Well that… that clears up nothing. Under any other circumstance Peter would’ve just assumed that the person Harley was talking about was him. After all Peter fit the bill of someone who knows Tony and Harley from entirely separate parts of his life. And to be fair, it’s not like there were an awful lot of teens that Harley would be able to interact with who also happened to know the billionaire. But Peter obviously found out about Harley’s connection to Mr Stark before the photo was published so that rules him out. Which means, Peter realised with a sinking heart, that there is yet  _ another _ guy out there that Harley knows and who is also high profile enough to be familiar with Mr Stark which pretty much puts him way out of Peter’s league. The only reason Peter knew Mr Stark was because of a lab accident and a misplaced spider. He couldn’t compete with whatever billionaire’s kid was apparently hanging out with Harley in his spare time. That guy was probably the exact type of person Harley would want to hang out with anyway. Not Peter Parker, a kid who just happened to go to the same school as him. 

 

The only real consolation Peter had at that moment was the way Flash’s expression was pretty much mirroring Peter’s own. At least they could be mad at this mystery boy together. It seemed like their disappointment was just going to have to be the only thing they had in common. 

 

“Well,” Flash said, suddenly packing his bag again as if ready to flee at any moment “the photo is already out there Harley. If your guy doesn’t like it he can take it up with me.” He practically preened as he spoke, shuffling in place in some kind of attempt to look infinitely more imposing than he truly was. “And if he tried to start any kind of trouble, well, I’d be happy to rescue you any day, princess.” 

 

Huh. Spider-Man was about to murder Eugene Thompson then and there in the middle of study hall. 

 

MJ, the angel that she was, seemed to register before he himself did that Peter was fuming in his seat. Her hand clamped down on his shoulder, not exactly holding him in place but giving just enough of a firm squeeze to remind him to keep still. 

 

It took nearly all his damn will power but Peter valiantly managed to not strangle Flash then and there. Okay, so  _ maybe _ his reaction is a little bit dramatic. But still. “Princess” is  _ Peter’s  _ nickname for Harley. Actually, Princess is Spider-Man’s name for Harley and he’ll be damned if he lets Flash Thompson be out there  _ stealing _ his number one move. 

 

Looks like Spider-Man suddenly had some evening plans. 

 

-

 

“Holy shit. You’re Spider-Man.”

 

“Oh really?” Peter asked, looking around as if in shock, “Are you sure? No one has ever told me that before, so you might be mistaken.”

 

Flash blinks up at him confusedly, evidently looking at the red and blue spandex covering Peter’s body as he hangs upside down from a web in front of the other boy, “Uh… really?”

 

_ Wow _ , Peter thought,  _ he really isn’t the sharpest tool in the school for scientifically gifted children, huh?  _ He rolled his eyes beneath the mask and flipped his body around, landing on the concrete with a soft thud before looking Flash up and down cautiously. It was weird, super weird in fact, to be standing before his childhood bully and feel like he was the one with all the power. Honestly, nothing about the situation felt normal. Not with the way Flash was looking up at him, well Spider-Man, with awe and devotion. 

 

Damn now this whole “tell Flash to leave Harley alone and stop being weird in class” plan suddenly seemed… Way more inappropriate than before. Shit. Peter was being an idiot right now wasn’t he? Spider-Man wasn’t some tool he can use to intimidate his classmates away from his crush. Aw man, even just thinking that sentence was enough to give himself one hell of a reality check. What did he think was going to happen? He’d just ambushed Flash on his way home from school and now the teen was obviously standing there and waiting for an explanation of what the hell Spider-Man was doing talking to him and Peter had… nothing. No excuses. Not even Peter’s usual roster of half-assed lies was going to save him now. 

 

“Uh, Spider-Man?” Flash asked, an entirely foreign tone seeping into his voice. What was that? It’s not mockery, Peter is very familiar with that. Anger? No. Not that either. “Are you doing alright Spider-Man?”

 

Oh. Oh that’s concern. Huh. He’s pretty sure he’s never heard Flash’s voice sound like that before. 

 

“I, uh… I-”  _ Crap.  _ What was he meant to say now? What possible explanation could he concoct? It would have to be brilliant. Witty. Strategic. The perfect lie to throw Flash off the scent and make this conversation end right now. “No. Actually. No I’m not alright.” Oops. 

 

And with that Peter sat on the dirty, gross New York sidewalk with a puzzled frown on his face and a high school nemesis looking on worriedly. Maybe, Peter thought as Flash gingerly sat down beside him, Peter had misjudged this whole endeavour. He glanced to the side to see Flash clearly struggling to think of something comforting to say right then.

 

“Sorry.” Peter said eventually. “This is- This is a weird day for me I think.”

 

Flash grinned ruefully, every moment he sat by the hero’s side he seemed to become just a little bit more comfortable, a little bit more authentic. “Tell me about it.” he scoffed.

 

And okay,  _ yes _ , Peter did know that was a figure of speech but at the same time… well who else was he going to talk to right now? May was great but she didn’t really know what his high school life was like. Ned and MJ were amazing, of course they were, but they just weren’t what he needed right now. And so, despite every single part of his consciousness telling him not to, Peter started to tell Flash about what was going on. 

 

“Okay. So this is probably dumb and against superhero code, I dunno, but the thing is… there’s this boy I like right?” He almost wished he had a camera rolling just to capture the three seconds where Flash’s face managed to express every human emotion in one go as he figured out that Spider-Man was not only telling him about himself, but also that Spider-Man was actually a normal guy under the mask. Flash nodded eagerly, urging Peter to go on. “Anyway this guy he’s, well, he’s just really great. And we’re friends but not the type of friends that I want to be. Like, he doesn’t know who I am obviously.” Peter gestured to the mask with a half-hearted wave of his hand. “And I just learnt something about him which means he’s close to this  _ other  _ person in my life who knows way too much about me. So now I can’t tell what he actually thinks of me because he’s getting all this mixed information.”

 

Flash nodded along sympathetically, as if he could relate to any of the nonsense Peter was currently rambling about. Strangely enough the gesture was appreciated anyway.

 

“And, to top it all off. The guy in my school who kind of hates me a whole lot,  _ also _ likes him. So I’m pretty sure we’ve now ended up in some stupid contest to win his affections but,” Peter sighed again, a deep, regretful sigh that attempted to communicate just how ludicrous and depressing his life was right now, “-But now I think he likes someone else entirely. So who knows what’s happening now? I like him. Some guy hates me. The guy who hates me likes him. He likes someone else.”

 

Peter chuckled, “It’s all just a bit of a mess huh?”

 

Beside him, Flash nodded again. If he were being honest Peter would admit that telling someone all of this, even if that someone was Flash, was a relief. A tiny fraction of the burden upon his shoulder lifted with every second that Eugene-goddamn-Thompson sat down on the ground beside him and empathised with Spider-Man. 

 

“I know what that’s like,” He said after a short pause. Peter turned to him curiously only for Flash’s eyes to suddenly widen as he hastened to add, “Not the whole secret identity thing though! Obviously. Uh, but that whole crush thing. Yeah, I get that.”

 

Peter really hoped the raised eyebrow he was giving Flash right now would somehow translate even through the mask. Thankfully Eugene did seem to pick up on Peter’s curiosity. 

 

“I kind of like a guy too.” 

 

_ Thank you to whatever god out there decided to invent masks _ , Peter thought seeing as he wasn’t even attempting to stop the wild expressions he was making under there.

 

“He’s just so cool you know?” Flash carried on, oblivious, “He’s funny and charming. And he keeps me on my toes that’s for sure.”

 

“So why don’t you go for him?” Peter asked before immediately regretting it.  _ No, no, no, nope, noppity nope. Please Flash I am literally begging you. Do. Not. take dating advice from Spider-Man or I am going to riot. I swear to God you better not listen to me you damn- _

 

“Oh hell no.”

 

_ Thank fuck. _

 

“I’m not going to ask  _ him _ out.”

 

_ Helllllll yeah. _

 

“I want him to ask me out.”

 

_ Aw, Flash… no. _

 

Peter was really struggling right now. Spider-Man should be supportive right? That was like, a  _ thing _ that he did. But Peter Parker was currently hosting an entire celebratory parade inside of him mind at that very moment so his motivations seemed a little bit conflicted. He settled on the most neutral response he could possibly think of. “Why?”

 

“Why do I want him to ask me out?” Flash echoed, suddenly looking far more thoughtful and significantly less arrogant than Peter expected. “Well, to be honest I don’t actually think he likes me that much. And I mean, do I want to date him? Yeah. Duh. But I’m not going to push it on him. Trust me, I’ve made myself  _ very  _ clear to him.”

 

_ Yeah. I think I might’ve picked up on that. _

 

Flash huffed in irritation, clearly reminiscing about something that managed to irk him so much he seemed to have forgotten it was his hero Spider-Man that he was ranting to. He was so caught up in those memories that he wasn’t even looking in Peter’s direction as he frowned at the ground before him.

 

“Not like it matters anyway. I could throw myself at him and he probably wouldn’t notice. All he does is make those dumb eyes at fucking  _ Parker _ of all people. I want him to look at  _ me _ with those dumb eyes. Fuck.”

 

…

 

_ Uh……… _

 

_ wHAT.  _

 

“Huh?” Peter asked numbly. 

 

Flash groaned dramatically and turned to stare at Peter with so much exasperation that for a moment he worried that he was somehow actually in class without the suit, and Flash had just seen him give the wrong answer and was getting ready to mock Peter for the next two weeks straight. 

 

“Ugh, Spidey. Parker is this guy at my school and he is just  _ the worst _ . Everyone treats him like he’s some goody two shoes who can never do anything wrong but I swear to god he has not been on time for class  _ once _ in the last year. And he’s lying about stuff, like, all the time. He’s so suspicious and weird and he thinks he knows everything. And okay, so yeah, he’s obviously like super smart or whatever but Harley looks at him like he invented the sun.”

 

“... invented the sun?” He replied, not quite daring, but definitely hoping, that Flash would carry on. 

 

“Yes! Exactly! It’s so stupid right?” Flash kicked angrily at an unfortunate rock that happened to be sitting nearby. The two boys watched it bounce miserably across the road as one sat fuming and the other sat wondering if he was currently experiencing what it felt like to ascend to heaven. 

 

“Parker gets away with everything and I just  _ know  _ that Harley likes him more than me.” Flash’s angry muttering seemed to fade away as he spoke, now replaced with dejected acceptance. “Pretty sure everyone likes him more than me anyway.”

 

_ Aw heck.  _

 

“That’s, uh,” Peter struggled to find the words, “That’s rough buddy.”

 

_ Whoops. That probably wasn’t what he was meant to say. _

 

Thankfully, Flash didn’t get mad like Peter had expected. He just laughed. “It sure is, huh?”

 

If Eugene hadn’t been such a dick to Peter throughout all his life and had instead been half as tolerable as he was being to Spider-Man, Peter might’ve actually learned to enjoy his company every once in a while. 

 

“Ah well,” Flash continued, “Doesn’t matter. The guy I like is so oblivious he probably hasn’t even noticed that Parker likes him back.”

 

“Ugh,” Peter groaned, “The guy I like is so oblivious too. He just does not notice me. Like at all.” Did he feel the need to let Flash know they were complaining about the same guy? No. No he did not.

 

“Right?!” Flash exclaimed, excited that someone could share his pain. “I walked up to him the other day and was all like ‘Hey Harley, you look hot today’ and he straight up said ‘Thanks! It’s the fire’ and then I realised the dumbass had actually caught his entire left sleeve on fire. He was burning, Spider-Man. And he took the time to make a stupid fucking joke and I kind of love him even more for it.”

 

“Oh my god, tell me about it.” Peter whined, “My guy was trying to build a new watch for his sister but, and I genuinely don’t even know how he did it, he got the wiring so wrong that the thing caught on fire _ while he was wearing it _ .” 

 

“What is it with guys and fire?” Flash exclaimed.

 

“Right?!” Peter agreed fervently. Both boys looked earnestly at one another for one whole second before bursting into laughter at how stupid their crushes were. Peter stood eventually, still laughing to himself as he helped Flash up too. Their time commiserating with one another upon the grimy New York street was over but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a little bit fun to see this whole other side of Flash. It was almost nice. 

 

“Hope you’re feeling better Spidey,” Flash said warmly, “And thanks for listening to me talk about my stupid crush and my dumb classmates.”

 

Peter was pretty sure he deserved at least a small medal for managing to look past the dig Flash had just unintentionally thrown at him. “Yeah, good talking to you too, Flash.”

 

And with a quick wave and a new web Peter swung away, off into the city so he could start patrolling like he was meant to. Behind him, alone on an empty street there stood a teenager who was currently going through a teensy tiny crisis as to how the actual hell Spider-Man seemed to know his name. 

  
  


-

  
  


Harley was  _ not  _  worried when Spider-Man failed to show up and walk with him as he made his way to the tower that evening. At least, that’s what he was telling himself as he wandered through the darkened streets alone. 

 

He’d barely been able to concentrate at school all day. The second he’d lain eyes on that stupid magazine his brain had been working in overdrive because  _ shit _ Spider-Man was a normal person under the mask. He probably read magazines like that and now there was no doubt in Harley’s mind that he’d learnt that Harley knew Tony, and Spider-Man obviously also knew him and that probably made everything weird now and Harley was freaking out and it was all hi-

 

With great effort, Harley managed to calm his thoughts down until they were back to the regular human amount. He was probably just freaking out over nothing. It’s not like Spider-Man walked with him every day anyway. The guy had crimes to stop and all that. So what if he didn’t come to see Harley after that photo was out there? It might not mean anything. Hell. He might’ve actually known the whole time.

 

Harley didn’t think Tony was the type of person to be so over the top as to hire a superhero to make sure he got home just fine but it was always a possibility. Obviously Tony had enough money to hire the best security team on the planet if he wanted for Harley. But that would be a bit suspicious huh. Maybe if Tony had asked Spidey to come check in on Harley it was in an effort to be discrete. Well, as discreet as Tony Stark was physically capable of being at least. 

 

Ugh. Harley probably wasn’t right. Tony wouldn’t keep something as important as that to himself and not let Harley know. Then again… Harley was still sort of reeling from the fact Tony had known Peter the whole time and he certainly didn’t seem compelled to tell him about that little fact. Maybe he was just enough of a bastard to keep this fact from him as well.

 

God it was embarrassing enough having Tony know one of Harley’s crushes. It was mortifying for him to know  _ both  _ of them personally. Harley had barely been able to speak to Peter all day because of it. He couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of what Tony might now be telling him about Harley. The only real consolation he had was that Peter had obviously been as surprised as him to find themselves at the tower together. At least he seemed mostly cool with it when they talked at study hall. Man, Harley sucked at avoiding Peter. He was doing so good all day; he’d given Ned a perfectly reasonable excuse to skip lunch, and managed to dodge all of MJ’s questions. But the second Harley had heard Flash antagonising Peter a few tables over he couldn’t help but stick his nose right in the middle of that mess. Whatever reason Flash had for listening to Harley, well, Harley intended to take full advantage of it if it meant getting Flash out of Peter’s way. 

 

Ugh everything was a mess. He blamed Tony. It was Tony’s fault things were weird with Peter at school and it was probably Tony’s fault that Spidey wasn’t here to talk to him like he usually would be. Even if Harley logically knew it wasn’t Tony’s fault, not really, he couldn’t help being just bitter enough to stall on his way back to the tower. He was taking a new route that circled through a different part of town. Was it a bit creepier now that Harley was walking around so late at night? Yes. Did every other noise that seemed to follow him around the confusing maze of back streets make him wanna jump in surprise? Yes. Was he still vaguely hoping deep down that this detour would mean Spidey might accidentally run into him and they could catch up while he just happened to be there?... Yes. 

 

All at once Harley realised his stupid plan actually worked. He was halfway down a darkened alley that was so far out of his way he couldn’t quite remember how he’d actually gotten there in the first place when he heard the familiar thud of a body landing elegantly on the ground behind him. Of course Spidey would appear right when he needed him most. Maybe it was part of his powers. 

 

Harley felt a smile slip onto his face effortlessly as he halted his steps, waiting for his friend to catch up. Why Spidey insisted on attempting to “sneak” up on him Harley had no idea. He certainly wasn’t trying to cover his footsteps very well. Hell, if Harley knew him as well as he did, Spidey was probably about to come up right behind him and say “boo” like the loser he is. Harley waited fondly. 

 

And that’s when a fist slammed into the back of his head and Harley crumpled to the ground. The only thought that crossed his mind as he stared at the watch on his wrist with the hidden emergency alert that Tony had installed which suddenly seemed impossibly difficult to reach, was that  _ damn it. This is going to be embarrassing to explain.  _

  
  


-

 

Harley woke up blearily. His eyes blinking furiously as they adjusted to the harsh white lights directed right at him. It was the thudding that was bothering him the most though. An incessant pounding that roared in his eardrums, blocking out whatever words the people in ski masks that circled him were saying. He stared at his surroundings, trying to see past the floodlights into the darkness beyond. From the empty void-like feel of the place he would guess he was in a warehouse. Why was it always a warehouse that the villains took the hero to? Wait. Was Harley the hero of the story? 

 

He couldn’t seem to get his thoughts straight. That damned beat thrumming through his head. He couldn’t even tell where it was coming from. One of the masked lunatics were yelling. At least, Harley assumed they were. The beat was drowning them out. They were pretty terrible kidnappers if they didn’t realise the stupid noise was going to interrupt their whole interrogation shtick. The lunatic marched forward, a hand raised which he then used to whack Harley in the face and oh. Okay. So turns out the pounding was actually just the sound of the concussion he probably had now screaming at him. Ow.

 

At the very least that slap seemed to have reconfigured his brain enough that normal sound was seeping back in.

 

“- so ya gonna sit down and shut up ya hear me?”

 

Hm. Had that guy been talking to him the whole time? Was Harley meant to know what was going on? Should he be getting medical assistance for the concussion he was currently experiencing? The answer to all those questions appeared to be yes but Harley was pretty sure if he pointed the whole medical thing out these guys would maybe not appreciate it.

 

So he nodded along and hoped the guy would just shut up and leave him alone so Harley could panic in peace. He had just been kidnapped, he was pretty sure he deserved to panic just a little. At the very least he was happy that the idiots had tied him to a chair with his hands next to one another. Which means, thankfully, Harley could finally press the panic button on his watch. So now all he had to do was wait because Tony would probably be there in the next ten minutes. That’s just the kind of helicopter-superhero-pseudo parent he is. How sweet. 

 

The kidnappers seemed rather dismissive of Harley which was A: Rude. And B: actually probably a good thing because that meant Harley was able to simply sit and wait for his inevitable rescue. He passed the time comfortably. Well, as comfortable as someone tied to a chair in an abandoned and dingy warehouse can probably be. The kidnappers had clearly dismissed him from being a threat, happy to congregate around a table nearby and loudly discuss how to get Iron Man’s attention so they could ransom Harley off. Honestly it was a bit unprofessional of them, Harley thought, this all very much seemed like something they should’ve thought of earlier. 

 

His disgust at their poor workmanship was quickly replaced by a small thrill of excitement at a quiet thud upon the warehouse’s roof. It wasn’t really Tony’s style to be so discreet, not that Harley was complaining. Maybe for once in his life the man had learnt some restraint and was making sure Harley wouldn’t be hurt in the blast. 

 

His eyes darted around the room, making sure the kidnappers were still distracted and not paying any attention to the way one of the windows placed far too high for any normal person to come through, was opening up and a dark figure sneaking through. 

 

Ah, so Iron Man would not be his hero of the day it seemed. The job was already taken. 

 

Harley watched Spider-Man crawl across the roof with a dopey smile on his face. It was funny, seeing him actually in action. Normally Harley would only encounter him as the bubbly, goofy guy who would walk him home and do a flip only if Harley pestered him for it. But there he was, crawling across the room like some kind of… well, spider. It was cute. Harley kinda wanted to wave at him. It seemed polite to say hello. But his hands were tied and it was also probably a bit of a bad idea to wave at the guy who was being all stealthy. 

 

Spider-Man made his way to the ceiling over where Harley was being held. He shot a web at the ceiling and began to fall elegantly towards the floor, twirling like a gymnast as he went. Harley watched mesmerised. It was beautiful. The way he moved through the air so smoothly and with such control, it was enough to get Harley’s heart racing in ways that had nothing to do with the objective terror of the situation he’d found himself in. The web halted as Spider-Man slowed to a stop right beside Harley’s face. A momentary, entirely inappropriate thought crossed Harley’s mind as he realised that if Spidey had not been wearing his mask at that moment, they would be close enough to kiss.

 

Except that one of them was upside down. 

 

Harley wasn’t quite sure that would be enough to stop him anyway. 

  
“Well hi there Harley,” Spider-Man said cheerfully, just loud enough for the kidnappers to notice and shout in shock at the sudden appearance of a superhero in their midst, “We have  _ got _ to stop meeting like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always feel free to come talk/yell at me on tumblr @ mauverawrites


	6. Chapter 6

 

Spider-Man was an idiot. 

 

That is the only thought Harley could manage to come up with as he watched every thug in the warehouse turn their guns on Spidey seconds after he spoke. It wasn’t that Harley thought Spidey wouldn’t be able to handle it. The problem was that Spidey was standing (hanging?) right next to Harley. And Harley wasn’t exactly in the mood to be used as a human shield thank you very much. 

 

“Don’t worry,” Spider-Man said confidently, “I got this.”

 

Harley wished he shared that confidence. He wished he had a fraction of it. A sliver. A single _drop’s_ worth of the confidence that Spidey was practically exuding before him. But no. Harley’s brain had to be mean and keep telling him that he was about to be murdered because his local vigilante wanted to be a dramatic asshole and make an entrance right in the middle of an actual hostage situation. He breathed in shakily, awaiting the inevitable spray of bullets that would inevitably be coming. Now. Right now. Uh… Soon? 

 

Harley’s eyes had screwed shut in anticipation but as he sat there awaiting certain doom, he was pleasantly surprised to find a lack of bullets. In fact, there was a distinct lack of anything happening at all until a sudden weight settled on his lap. Warily, he opened one eye and peeked out at his surroundings only to find himself immediately confronted with the sight of Spider-Man sprawled across his legs. 

 

Spider-Man. Was sitting. On top. Of Harley. 

 

He should not be enjoying this as much as he was. 

 

Harley corralled his features into a frown as he stared at the way Spidey practically lounged across him, his back resting against the arm of the chair while his legs casually hung off the other side. He was making a grand show of inspecting his nails as if the two dozen guns currently pointed at them didn’t matter. And also as if the fact his nails were covered by spandex wasn’t important either. 

 

Silence reigned across the warehouse, broken only by a quiet murmur of Spidey humming to himself. It took Harley a second to focus what with the concussion, and the shock at being kidnapped, and the fact that _Spider-Man was sitting in his lap right now holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-_ but, he did eventually manage to pick up on the melody and seconds later found himself groaning at why Spidey apparently thought now was an appropriate time to start singing Queen’s “I want to break free”. 

 

Harley glared at him. Spidey, clearly picking up on the sudden attention, looked at him curiously, head tilted in confusion at why Harley was so apparently mad at his rescuer. “You asshole” he said simply, and yet far more fondly than intended. 

 

Immediately Spidey barked a laugh so loud that half the thugs jolted with surprise. Harley tensed at the movement, well aware at just how close their fingers were to triggers. Obviously Spidey felt the movement and subtly laid a comforting hand over Harley’s knee like that’d help. (It did. It helped so much _oh my god Harley was more stressed right now than he ever had been before in his entire life._ ) 

 

“Something wrong guys?” Spidey called out to his audience who seemed unsure how to respond. 

 

Eventually one of them stepped forward, a tall, brutish looking woman who Harley immediately identified at the leader if the way all the cronies were looking at her for direction meant anything. 

 

“Yeah. We got a problem. But it ain’t with you Spider. This ‘ere is Stark’s boy. We’ll be sorting out our problems with ‘im and you can be on yer way.”

 

Spidey hummed thoughtfully, tapping at his chin with one hand while the other draped over the back of Harley’s chair. Distracted as they all were with waiting for Spidey’s response, none of the thugs seemed to notice the way the hand snaked down until it rested on top of Harley’s own bound wrists. 

 

The sound of restraints breaking was covered by Spidey’s voice as he addressed the crowd. 

 

“That, my friend, is an excellent point.” He bounded to his feet and began to prowl around the circle as if inspecting his opponents. “You’re right, of course. He is Mr Stark’s kid. If I were to guess you guys probably saw him in the news and thought Mr Stark would pay a pretty penny to get him back, yeah?” 

 

As he walked, Spidey’s tone remained unfalteringly cheerful. Like he was catching up with friends and not chatting with people who had just kidnapped a boy for ransom. The leader grunted an affirmative, not backing down but obviously curious to see where Spidey was going with this little display. 

 

“And if I were to liberate Mr Keener from this situation that would result in you guys getting nothing right?” Another nod. Spidey paused to think. “So you’re not going to hurt Harley. And you’re going to get paid. And Mr Stark probably won’t even notice the money being gone plus he gets his kid back. Man, seems like this is a win win win type of situation here.”

 

Spidey hopped with supernatural strength up to a platform that lined the warehouse walls, nearly an entire floor up. Everyone jumped at the movement, guns following the red and blue figure immediately lest he try to trick them. Spidey beamed down at them, offering a little wave at their concerned faces. 

 

“Well if that’s the case I guess I better just stay out of your hair. No harm done as far as I can see.”

 

The leader gaped up at him. Her whole body contorting with the effort of keeping her gun trained on him as she scanned the windows above him like she expected company at any minute. 

 

“What you playin’ at Spider?” She called out to him warily, suspicion lining her voice. “From what I heard y’aint the type to just sit back and let us take a kid hostage even if we don’t wanna hurt ‘im.”

 

For a mask without any kind of mouth, Spidey’s face managed to show a shocking amount of emotion. Even from the floor below it was obvious how brightly he was grinning beneath the webbed spandex. 

 

“What kid?” 

 

The thugs spun around in unison. Each one gaping at the suddenly empty chair sitting in the middle of the floor, broken chains resting on the ground. 

 

“The fuck is he?!” The woman roared. “Jacobs! You was meant to be watchin’ the fuckin’ kid!” 

 

From the cramped alcove Harley had managed to squeeze himself into, he could watch the way one of the men, presumably ‘Jacobs’, withered underneath the woman’s glare. Her fury turned to an ungodly screech as she opened fire at the balcony right where Spider-Man was. Or rather, where Spider-Man _had been._

 

Harley grinned against the heavy wooden boxes that hid him from view. He was about to get a front row seat to Spider-Man taking down two dozen bad guys in order to save Harley of all people. This had suddenly become the best day of his life. 

 

The thugs quieted at the sudden disappearance of Spider-Man. Not that Harley blamed them, he too would probably prefer silence over the screaming in terror that he’d be doing if a super powered vigilante was hiding in the shadows waiting to attack. The tension in the room skyrocketed with every second that Spidey remained unfound. Guns swept across the room, torches flashed into dark alcoves. Every movement was simply a way for them to bide their time until Spidey made his next move. 

 

Harley bit his lip in anticipation. From the corner he’d hidden himself in after sneaking away from the chair he could only see the centre of the warehouse. Half the guards were out of sight as the rest wove in and out of his vision. Everyone on such high alert for Spidey that it seemed they’d all practically forgotten about him. Man. Spider-Man wasn’t even doing anything right now and he was absolutely fantastic at his job. 

 

Somewhere off to Harley’s left came a muffled thud and a pained grunt which he could only assume meant Spidey was back in action. A series of hushed scuffles could be heard around the room. From where he was sat, Harley could only assume Spidey was taking out all the peripheral guards. He was being surprisingly quiet. For a guy well known to be literally incapable of shutting up, Spider-Man had apparently decided this particular mission was worth the stealth. It was possible that it was just the concussion talking, or maybe the dumb crush he’d been harbouring for months now, but Harley couldn’t help but feel like the reason for this sudden change in behaviour was that it was _Harley_ in danger. Spidey cared for him. It was a thought that comforted Harley, for once Spidey’s affection was something that helped to calm Harley’s erratic heartbeat. If there was one person he could count on to keep him safe it was Spider-Man. 

 

Speaking of the vigilante, Harley heard the tell tale sound of an unconscious body slumping to the floor to his right which meant Spidey had completed his circuit of the warehouse leaving only two thugs and the leader standing in the centre of the room. They looked about as nervous as Harley had been feeling all day. Except for the leader of course, her bravado was something he couldn’t help but admire. She stood tall and proud, directing her lackeys to keep watching the shadows in which the Spider lurked. 

 

Her efforts were for naught though. No sooner had the words left her mouth than a pair of webs shot forth from the darkness, grappling the guns from the thugs’ hands. A clatter of steel falling upon the ground was all the warning they got before Spidey leapt forth. His fist collided with the closer man, sending him flying back until he fell to the ground unconscious. The second man stepped forward but with only a few quick hits he too was knocked out cold. Finally Spidey faced off with the woman. Each circling the other the way two prowling predators would size one another up, looking for weakness. Harley had to admire her tenacity that she genuinely intended to stand up to a superpowered human. Then Spidey pounced. He darted forward, a quick jab that was countered and returned in kind. Her quick barrage of punches was easily blocked by Spidey’s lightning fast reflexes and the circling began again. Harley watched as the pair continued on for another few rounds of this; a test of the other’s skill before a hasty retreat, evaluation, and then another go at one another. It was almost like watching a choreographed dance. Except more violent. And with a few higher stakes. 

 

Spidey jumped forward again only for the leader to easily dodge his punch, her fist snaking underneath his movement and managing to jab him in the side. Spidey gasped, more in surprise than pain but it was enough of an opening for her to kick her left foot out and sweep his legs out from under him. Spidey dropped to a crouch looking like a panther ready to pounce but before he could move a shaky voice interrupted the fight. 

 

“H-hold it right there Spider-Man.” 

 

Spidey shivered all of a sudden, tension radiating off him as he slowly got to his feet and turned. It was like he was ready to face any and all danger. No matter how weak the voice was it was apparently enough to have Spidey on high alert. 

 

The reason for that became pretty goddamn clear as fucking Jacobs of all people, dragged Harley closer, his gun pressed against his head.

 

“I don’t wanna hurt him, Spider-Man. But you gotta leave. Y-you ain’t wanted here.” Jacobs called out. 

 

Harley could barely hear the words being spoken he was too busy freaking out. Also, he was rather pissed at himself right now. He’d been so entranced by the way Spidey fought he hadn’t remembered to, y’know, _not get caught_ . Jacobs had snuck around the boxes sheltering him and in seconds had him hostage. _Again_. Man that was embarrassing. 

 

So there he was at the mercy of a scared thug who seemed to suddenly be coming to the realisation that he didn’t exactly have a plan for what came next. 

 

Spidey turned to face them both. The only sign of tension he was now exuding came from the slight widening of the eyes of his mask. It was an intensity that Harley didn’t think he’d ever seen before. 

 

“Well, there you are Harley.” Spidey said, the tension barley masked by his faux cheery tone. “Thought you might’ve gotten lost.”

 

Oh. Okay. So they were just gonna pretend like Harley wasn’t currently being used as a human shield for a maniac with a gun? They were playing pretend? Okay. Harley knows how to play and like hell will he let goody two shoes Spider-Man of all people beat him at being a little shit. 

 

“Not lost.” He called back amiably, “just got caught up in a conversation here with my good friend Jacobs.”

 

Behind him, Jacobs jolted, obviously not expecting Harley to know his name. Not that Harley was paying much attention to that, he was busy trying to figure out why this little charade he and Spidey were pulling off felt so familiar. Stupid concussion making him all slow. 

 

“Alright then. Well, Harley, Jacobs, thanks for joining us! I’m Spider-Man and this here,” Spidey gestured vaguely at the leader who was standing behind him still poised and ready to fight but utterly lost at the bizarre turn the conversation had taken, “this is… uh.” Spidey seemed to suddenly realise he didn’t actually know her name. “This is a woman I just met.” 

 

Harley laughed and it was only a little bit hysterical, so he was counting it as a win. Whatever was happening just then was… ludicrous. It was all insane. Here he was having a chat with Spider-Man while being held hostage and he was just pretending it was all perfectly normal. The concussion was certainly not helping him that’s for sure though. Logically, he knew he had never in his life been in a situation like this before, but for some unknown reason his brain was getting a weird sense of déjà vu that he just couldn’t seem to place. 

 

Spidey had looked over at her expectantly. When she failed to introduce herself he huffed a disappointed sigh and shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

 

“Aw c’mon lady.” He pouted. “You’re telling me that you’re too good to introduce yourself to us? Me? Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man and him, your friendly... Rose Hill citizen?”

 

The woman scoffed at Spidey’s shenanigans but Harley didn’t notice. His irritatingly slow mind was struggling to remember whether or not he had ever told Spider-Man where he was originally from. Hell, the only people he could recall ever actually telling was his friends at Midtown on his first day there. Peter, Ned and MJ were meant to be the only ones that knew as far as he was concerned. Doubt crept into Harley’s mind slowly. An uncomfortable sensation that seemed to loom over him as he continued to gaze at Spider-Man. Questions that had arisen over the past few months bubbled to the surface of his thoughts the longer Spidey spoke. It was as if all the suspicions he’d ever had and all the pieces of information that never quite seemed to fit right were returning to him all at once. There was more to Spider-Man than Harley had ever expected. He grimaced, wanting nothing more than for his brain to start working properly because right then it felt as if he had all the pieces of a puzzle laid out before him but he just couldn’t seem to see the final picture. Nothing was connecting the way it should and it was driving him mad. 

 

So mad, in fact, that he had entirely forgotten to pay attention to the teeny tiny hostage situation he was in at that moment. Whoops. 

 

Jacobs appeared to have gotten sick of Spidey’s chattering and had taken it upon himself to remind everyone of the genuine danger they were in by brandishing his gun about and letting off a warning shot into the roof before returning the gun’s barrel back to Harley’s forehead. Oh joy. 

 

“Now hold on,” Spidey said slowly, voice back to a more controlled, more serious tone as his hands splayed low before him while he inched forward like one would approach a frightened animal. “We don’t wanna do anything hasty okay?”

 

“S-shut it Spider!” Jacobs warbled. “You’re gonna leave right now. And you won’t be telling Stark shit, y’hear? Else I’m gonna have to do something I don’t wanna.”

 

As far as threats went, Jacobs’ was pretty weak. Harley was pretty sure he could’ve come up with at least twelve more exciting threats if he’d been the thug and not the kidnappee. Unfortunately, the one thing Jacobs still had going for him was the gun he had stated to brandish about as he was speaking. Not that that lasted long of course. The moment the gun was away from Harley’s head a web seemed to appear from thin air, yanking the gun from Jacob’s grip. Harley jolted at the sudden movement shocked at the ease at which Spidey had just disposed of the biggest threat to his life in one go. Spidey himself seemed pleasantly surprised by the turn of events.

 

“Man, this is way easier than I thought it’d be. You don’t even need me here do ya?” He said to Harley, “You could probably just make a robot that’d do the work for me. Maybe we should just sick Shreddy on ‘em and let him do all the work for us huh?” Spider-Man laughed, shooting Harley a conspiratorial wink with his mask’s eye lens. 

 

Approximately four whole seconds later he realised what he’d just said. 

 

“... fuck.”

  


-

  


_Well shit,_ Peter thought to himself as he looked right at Harley. The words had barely left his lips before he registered that maybe, _just maybe_ , it was a bad idea for Spider-Man to make jokes about the robots Harley built in school and… y’know, _hadn’t told him about._

 

He never had figured out why Harley insisted on not talking about his robots with Spider-Man. It was a weird quirk that Peter had picked up on immediately but there’d never exactly been a chance to ask him about it what with Spider-Man supposedly not having any real idea about what Harley did outside of their occasional walks. There was a distinct line between what Peter Parker: “Harley’s schoolmate” knew versus what Spider-Man: “Harley’s superhero pal” was aware of. And he’d been good. He’d been so damn good at drawing that line in the sand and staying right in his lane depending on what mask he was wearing that day. But here? With his heart positively racing at the mere thought of Harley getting hurt? With a gun pressed close to the guy he was steadily and constantly falling for? Well, Peter thought he deserved a little bit of wiggle room to make some mistakes, though it would’ve saved him from having to deal with this problem at all if he’d just learnt to keep his mouth shut for once. He’d been cringing to himself the whole time he’d been trying to distract Jacobs, because of course it would be just his luck that he practically recites Peter’s first meeting with Harley word for word. 

 

So there he was. A gang leader with her gun out still pointed at him, a thug with his friend still caught up in his arms unable to escape. And his friend who has one hundred percent just figured out he, Peter Parker, is Spider-Man.

 

“... Fuck.”

 

Silence overwhelmed the warehouse. Not a single sound to be heard as Peter stared at Harley and Harley stared at Peter. And then, with a stone cold voice Harley asked one single question.

 

“What the absolute fuck?”

 

Peter was frozen in place. He was terrified. He was panicking. He was-

 

“No seriously,” Harley interrupted his thoughts like the kind and considered darling friend he was, “You’re telling me that a _spider_ is what you chose when you came up with your goddamn _fursona_.”

 

Uh… What?

 

“Seriously?!”’ Harley sighed, disappointment rolling off him in waves. “I expected better of you man. You judged the way I named _my_ robots when the best thing you’ve ever come up with is ‘Spider-Man’. Ugh.”

 

Peter was.... Well, “confused” didn’t exactly encompass all the emotions he was having at that moment. Harley had just figured out his secret identity. He’d just learnt that Peter had been lying to him for months. And the most expressive thing he’d reacted to was that Peter was bad at coming up with superhero names and that he apparently had a fusona. 

 

None of this was happening like he expected. 

 

Was there a manual someone could lend him? Like, “What to do when one of your best friends finds out you’re secretly a superhero and also he’s still getting held hostage and also you’re freaking out right now and also everything is awful oh god he thinks you’re a furry”. Something simple like that, y’know?

 

“Look,” Jacobs said warily, breaking through the intense staring competition Peter and Harley had apparently found themselves in, “I dunno what the hell is goin’ on ‘ere but you need to scram Spidey. Leave the boy with us and we won’t hurt neither of ya.”

 

Peter huffed irritatedly, he was a little busy right now. “Dude, like, I get this is a hostage situation and everything, but we’re kind of having a moment here. Do you mind?” And without giving Jacobs a chance to talk Peter turned back to Harley to await with trepidation for his next words. Whatever he said next was probably going to seal the deal on his life. If Harley decided that he was so mad at Peter for lying, he could out his identity in seconds. Everything would be ruined. And more importantly, Harley would be mad at Peter and that was _not allowed._ Oh god even the thought of Harley getting that annoyed frown on his face that he had whenever someone irked him, and having it directed at Peter? Nope. Nopity nope nope. He was not having that today.

Thankfully, before Peter could start enacting his newly concocted “Ten Step Plan To Make Harley Keener Trust Me Again And Also Fall In Love With Me Please”, Harley spoke up. 

 

“Y’know what?” He rolled his eyes and managed to look impressively in control of the situation when he _was still standing next to a bad guy oh my god Harley what are you doing_ , “I can’t deal with this right now.” 

 

He scrambled out of Jacobs hold, who in turn let him go with nothing short of astonishment on his face. To be fair, Peter was pretty sure he’d also never seen someone escape a kidnapping by just saying “nah, I’m done now” but that very much seemed to be what was happening. Harley Keener was nothing if not a wild, untameable force of nature who did whatever the hell he wanted. 

 

“Okay,” he declared, walking straight past Peter and only giving the woman _with a gun oh my god Harley stop putting yourself in danger-_ a cursory glance before he moved past her too, “You guys can have fun battling it out I guess. I’m gonna sit over here and have a crisis m’kay? Sound good? Thanks.”

 

And with that he dropped down onto one of the crates nearby, slumped down into his natural resting position of “I’m not paying attention leave me alone” and promptly shut his eyes, blocking out the actual _hostage situation here seriously Harley you’re killing me._

 

Peter blinked owlishly at that little display, amazed and entranced at the way Harley just breezed through life. A cough pulled him from his thoughts and reluctantly Peter turned to face the thugs. Could they not see he was midway through a quarter-life crisis here? Rude. 

 

“Yes?”

 

The leader scoffed, her gun already up and pointing right at him again. “Well ya heard the boy Spider. If ya want ‘im yer gonna have to go through us.” Jacobs nodded along eagerly, clearly pleased to be at her side and finally getting the attention he probably thought he deserved. What with every other thug lying on the floor unconscious it seemed Jacobs had just gotten himself promoted up the ranks. Good for him. 

 

Peter squared his shoulders, his arms automatically coming up ready to fight. Which is exactly when the ceiling caved in. 

 

Peter leapt back, shock rippling down his spine and it certainly seemed he wasn’t the only one. The thugs had barely managed to look up before they were screaming in surprise at the very bright, very dangerous, very threatening pair of repulsors pointed straight at them.

 

“Hey guys,” came Mr Stark’s voice from behind the mask, “You took my kid.”

 

Jacobs turned to his leader is desperation. Not that she was any kind of help. Her gun clattered to the floor, the noise drowned out by the sound of the Iron Man armour still in flight as Mr Stark hovered menacingly over the pair. “Er, we surrender?” She said. 

 

“Yeah. I think you just might.” he agreed before promptly shooting them both with a pair of darts that Peter hadn’t even known Mr Stark owned. They slumped to the floor, knocked out cold by whatever chemicals the darts were laced with.  

 

Peter slouched with relief. Glad not only that the whole goddamn ordeal was finally over but now he didn’t have to be alone with Harley, who had probably already decided that he was sick of Peter and would like to never talk to him ever again and oh _god_ that better not happen.

 

“Well hey there you two,” Mr Stark’s mask lifted up to reveal possibly the smugest expression Peter had ever seen in his life. “I see you’re getting along just great huh? You guys have fun with your new friends?”

 

 _Oh yeah_ , Peter thought, suddenly remembering why he didn’t like it when Mr Stark showed up right at the end of one of his battles, _Mr Stark is the worst._

 

 At this point in his life, Peter was pretty sure it wasn’t even a question that Mr Stark would spend the next month gloating about how he “totally took down the entire gang single handedly, really it was so easy why’d it take you so long, Pete?” because he had very quickly learnt that nothing annoyed Peter more than him doing that. And, as he was beginning to understand very clearly about the man, there was nothing more that he loved than tormenting the teenagers in his life by poking fun at them at every opportunity available to him.

 

At least this time he wasn’t alone, as Harley, who had deigned to peek one eye open at Mr Stark’s dramatic entrance, once again made his presence known in the most Harley way possible; by insulting anyone and everyone near him.

 

“You guys are assholes.” He declared. “You,” he pointed at Peter, “Are a terrible liar and I am very, _very_ mad that you of all people managed to deceive me for literal months.”

 

Based on his entire understanding of Harley as a person, Peter was pretty sure that sentence translated to “Wow Peter I’m kind of impressed you got away with this but I’m mad at myself for not figuring it out on my own also you’re amazing and I’m in love with you”... okay so he _might_ possibly be imagining that last bit. But still. 

 

“And you!” Harley whirled on Mr Stark, who in turn stood with arms crossed and an amused grin on his face. “You are the worst billionaire I’ve ever met-”

 

“I’m the only one you’ve ever met.”

 

Harley spluttered indignantly. “That’s even worse! You’re setting a terrible example for me when I eventually buy out your company and begin my plans at world domination!” Mr Stark’s smile widened the more Harley talked, the words practically bouncing off him which only served to make Harley ever more frustrated that he was mad but he still actually liked Mr Stark as a person too much to do anything about it. “You! Are! The! Worst!”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yes!” Harley threw his hands up in exasperation, “You lied to me for ages _and_ you made me admit I had two separate crushes _on the same fucking guy!”_

 

-

 

“Uh... what was that last bit?”

 

“... Fuck.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY DID IT  
> sorry for the crazy long time that this fic has taken me but at last it is complete  
> thanks for everyone who stuck with me through the wait, and special thanks to BB for just being the best and being v tolerant of their birthday gift taking me literal months to finish lmao  
> thanks everyone for reading <33

Was there a handbook available that was called “What To Do When You Admit You Like Your Friend Who Is Also A Superheo And Is Wearing A Stupid Mask So You Can’t See His Reaction And You’re Currently Freaking The Fuck Out Also Tony Stark Is An Asshole And Is Laughing At You”?

 

No seriously. Harley wanted to know. He wanted to know, like, _yesterday_. Before he was a dumbass and opened his big mouth in front of Peter. More than anything he wanted to know what Peter was going to say after that little declaration. But of-fucking-course it would be just Harley’s luck that before he could break the eternity of stunned silence that had stretched between them, the goddamn Avengers showed up. Peter, the little shit that he was, took Harley’s moment of distraction to scram. Avengers filtered into the warehouse one after another. Each crashing and bumbling their way in, except Natasha of course, because she seemed to be the only one who understood what stealth was. 

 

And Tony Stark, to absolutely nobody at all’s surprise, was not helpful. Harley had spun on his heel the moment the Avengers entered the warehouse, eyes scanning the darkness in case he could pick out Spide- no, _Peter_ but he was already gone. Immediately the Avengers had fanned out, examining the slumped over forms of thugs that Peter-Man had knocked out and they assessed the rest of the warehouse for threats. Harley promptly ignored them. 

 

“Tony?” It didn’t matter that he was wearing a suit made out of literally bulletproof material that had saved him from more blunt force trauma than any human being had any right to experience - Harley’s grip on Tony’s arm was iron clad as he made the man look him in the eye. “Tony? I just have one real quick question: where the fuck did he go?”

 

Tony smiled at Harley before prying his hand off of the armour, “Sorry kid, knowing him he’s probably just run off to go have a bit of a crisis.” At Harley’s affronted expression Tony was quick to reassure him that Harley would be sure to see Peter back at school the next day. “Honestly, not even having his identity revealed would stop that boy from being a nerd.” Tony’s smile stretched into a knowing grin that Harley decided he hated on principle because there is no way Tony didn’t know exactly what he was implying with those raised eyebrows. He knew that Harley wanted to see Peter for more reasons than to just confront him about lying. He knew that Harley was just about ready to internally combust on the spot because _holy fucking shit Peter is Spider-Man and Spider-Man is Peter and Harley is kind of in love with both of them but they’re the same person so is that like double the love? Who knows? Not him._

 

“Harley!” A booming voice interrupted his racing thoughts. 

 

Harley robotically turned on the spot, working more off of instinct than actual thought as he faced Captain America. The man rested a hand upon Harley’s shoulder, worry in his eyes. “Harley are you alright? We came as soon as we heard.”

 

He nodded in response, already pushing his way out of the man’s grip because if Tony was going to just keep standing there smirking like an idiot, it seemed Harley would just have to get himself home and plan out his next twenty five step plan of Making Peter Talk To Me Without Running Away. It was busy work that lay ahead of him but by god he was going to do it. 

 

Cap however didn’t seem quite as willing to let the teen wander off into the city after having recently been, y’know, kidnapped and held for ransom. “Harley? Son, I don’t think you should be going out there alone just yet.” His eyes perused the scene, a dozen beat up thugs already lying together in a heap where Hawkeye and Falcon had piled them up for convenient capture. Also, Harley was pretty sure he saw Clint taking trick shots at Sam’s neck with stray pebbles when he wasn’t looking. He grinned at the sight before turning back to face Steve.

 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me Cap. I took out all the guys here pretty easily, I’m sure I can handle whatever else wants to come at me.” And with that Harley turned on his heel and sauntered out of the warehouse, sharing only a glance with Tony to make sure the man had actually thought ahead and had prepared a car for Harley to get home in. After all, it’s not like he wanted to make a cool exit line and then have to come back in to ask for a ride. What a way to kill the drama. 

 

Behind him he heard a confused hum from Cap, then the not so subtle sound of him asking Tony if Harley had really been the one to take all the men out on his own. Quickly, Harley cast a glance back at Tony, practically begging him to keep up the lie because even in this, the most teen-drama-angsty-love-confession fueled moment of his existence; Harley knew there was nothing on this earth he enjoyed more than messing with a national icon. And Tony Stark was a smart enough man to know the only way Harley wouldn’t end up blackmailing him for the next decade with claims of having being forgotten and abandoned, was if he did _exactly_ what Harley needed him to. 

 

Tony sighed, rather melodramatically if you asked Harley, and dutifully repeated the line Harley had fed him earlier. “Of course Harley saved himself. He’s so strong and talented. And look at all this webbing. _Obviously_ the way he got himself out is because he’s… _Spider-Man._ Uhuh. That’s him alright.”

  


-

  


If his life was a movie, right now Peter would think he’s in a spy thriller. At least, that’s how it felt as he slunk through the halls of his own school. Never in his entire life had he felt so on edge and alert as he did now. His heart pounding a thundering beat inside his chest as he edged closer and closer to the corner. He inched forward. A scuff of his shoes on the cold linoleum might be the very thing to give him away. To compromise everything. To ruin _everything_ he had worked for and-

 

“Uh, Peter?”

 

Peter screamed. 

 

Okay, well, he screeched. In surprise. More of a squeal. Or maybe a manly shout of mild shock?

 

“Hey Peter?” Ned probed again, poking at his friend in confusion, “Is there a particular reason you look like you’re a thief in a 90’s cartoon? All you’re missing right now is the black and white striped shirt and a bag with a dollar sign on it.”

 

Peter huffed indignantly, his eyes constantly shifting across the halls, cataloguing every face to come into his periphery just in case. “I am _not_ walking like a cartoon villain.”

 

“Then why were you dancing around like that?”

 

“I wasn’t _dancing around_ I was _sneaking_ Ned, there’s a difference.”

 

Ned scoffed. “Uhuh. Sure thing man.” He tried to follow Peter’s gaze for a second before realising that was pretty much a hopeless task and he would be better off doing… pretty much anything else. Apparently this included interrogating Peter who was trying _very hard not to get noticed right now thank you Ned._

 

“So, am I going to get an explanation or…?”

 

“Shhh!” Peter hissed. He grabbed Ned by the arm and, with one final cursive scan of the environment, pulled him further into the crowd. Peter ducked his head low into his chest, practically buried under the loose fitting hoodie he’d scrounged up that morning. Not to say he didn’t look good in it. In fact, if one were to ask Aunt May they might even find out Peter had spent the better part of an hour that morning trying to find the perfect balance between ‘totally incognito’ and ‘hot enough that if Harley was mad at him, he might forget why’. It was a delicate situation but he was pretty sure he’d nailed it. 

 

Other students swirled around them like fish in a river, swimming up and down the halls without a single thought spared to the two boys who were both looking around like their lives depended on it. At this point, Ned had become caught up in Peter’s natural dramatics, and so he too was also on the lookout. Though what he was looking out for was still a mystery. 

 

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Peter said under his breath, his lips barely moving. Ned would just have to figure it out what was happening the same way he normally managed to decode Peter’s mad ramblings; with a whole bunch of questions and trying to think the way a lunatic best friend who dressed up like a spider to fight crime would.  “So yesterday Harley got kidnapped-”

 

“He _what?!_ ”

 

“Shh! Shut up! Someone is gonna hear us. Discretion is key here dude. You good? Right. So Harley got kidnapped and I saved him as _youknowwho_ and-”

 

“You dressed up like Voldemort?”

 

“Dude.”

 

“Right right. Shutting up now.”

 

Peter sighed. “I went out as… _Spider-Man_ and I helped Harley out but Ned I messed up _so_ bad. And uh, he kind of knows who I am now?”

 

The sudden weight of Ned’s arm pulling tight against Peter’s threw him off balance. Peter turned to see Ned standing there in total shock, frozen in place as he stared back at him.

 

“ _Dude!_ He knows? Is he going to say anything? Did the bad guys see you? Did you tell him you’re in love with him?”

 

Peter was willing to sell at least one quarter of his soul then and there as long as he could learn how to stop blushing so much in public. Unfortunately no demon from hell arrived to make his wish come true so he guessed he just had to accept that he was going to be looking like a tomato for the rest of the conversation. 

 

“Ugh. Yes he knows. No he’s not going to say anything, I mean, he lived with Iron Man for like, months and I never even knew. No the bad guys didn’t see me. And as for me telling him I’m in love with him…” Peter trailed off, unsure how to continue that particular sentence. Not that it mattered of course because Ned was already ten steps ahead of him based on how many conclusions he’d just jumped to.

 

“Holy shit. You guys are like dating now aren’t you?”

 

“What?” Peter laughed nervously, “Noooo.”

 

Ned, apparently fed up with the way Peter couldn’t even hold eye contact with him for more than two seconds, pulled him into an empty classroom. Once Peter established that they were in fact alone, he could barely help the way the words spilled out from him.

 

“Okay so like, there I was saving the day like woosh and pew and blergh and stuff right? But I made some dumb joke and Harley then figured me out and he was all ‘wow Peter nice fursona’ which is like, so incorrect. It’s a gimmick not a fursona c’mon. Right, right, anyway. Uh, so then Mr Stark showed up and Harley was all ‘Tony you didn’t tell me they were the same person and also that I had a crush on the same guy’”

 

Ned’s excited gasp was cut off as Peter continued to talk, each word rushing forth faster and faster as he began to pace.

 

“And then what was I supposed to do? Be like ‘Hey harley I think you’re super nice and funny and smart and stupidly hot and will you date me please also I’ve been lying to you for months oops sorry’? Ugh. I can’t just _do_ that. So I, y’know. I left.”

 

“You what?!” 

 

“I panicked Ned! He got distracted so I just booked it outta there. And then he tried calling me like five times last night but I never picked up. And now it’s like, _way_ too late to do anything about it. And I went home and I told Aunt May and then we found out that apparently when I get super stressed I start pacing? I didn’t know that. But anyway yeah we figured it out because I started pacing but I paced too much I guess and I ended up walking on the ceiling and I think I freaked Ms Cardinas’ dog out. Y’know the one who lives across the street? He saw me through the window and started barking and-”

 

“Hey Peter?”

 

Peter looked down at Ned.

 

“You’re on the ceiling.”

 

Huh. Would you look at that. 

 

Peter landed on the ground with a thump, not even worried that the noise might disturb someone because it would be just his luck that that would happen. God, he couldn’t get Harley out of his thoughts long enough to notice he’d just been walking across the ceiling in broad daylight! At _school!_ Ugh!

 

Ned very kindly pretended not to laugh at Peter’s pout. Eventually, after Peter had retreated to his natural Panic Position and was suitably curled up on the floor in defeat, Ned sat down beside his best friend and laid a comforting arm along his shoulders. “Dude, look,” Peter turned to him curiously, “Okay so this sucks, yeah, but think about it. Flash totally pushed you into your locker this morning!”

 

Unsurprisingly it took less than three seconds for Ned to figure out that maybe, _just maybe,_ being reminded of Flash at a time like this wasn’t helping Peter as much as he might have thought.

 

Ned grinned apologetically, “What I mean is that Harley hasn’t ratted you out. He’s had all of yesterday and this morning to do it, but still no one cares about you!”

 

Peter’s glare deepened.

 

“What I _mean_ is that he didn’t tell anyone! Your secret is safe!”

 

Huh. He might just have a point. If anything was a way to prove that Harley wasn’t one to get-rescued-and-tell, then the fact that Flash had sneered right at Peter before digging his elbow into his side just hard enough that Peter stumbled straight into his own locket, might just be a sign. Flash had then followed it up by reminding everyone that Peter was obviously too much of a loser to even stand up straight, unlike him, the Great Flash Thompson who was actually best friends with Spider-Man now if you hadn’t heard. They hung out together. Spidey totally thought Flash was the coolest teenager he’d ever met. 

 

Or something like that. Seeing as it was about the hundredth or so time Peter had been forced to hear about his own encounter with Flash he’d stopped paying attention to which details were getting embellished this time around. But still, the point stands. Harley, his dear friend and ludicrously attractive crush, hadn’t revealed Peter’s identity. 

 

He felt a whoosh of air leave his body all at once. Relief coursing through his veins at the same time that a tiny, desperate smidgen of hope began to well up in his chest. Harley hadn’t told. Which surely means he still cared about him. And, if his little revelation back at the warehouse was anything to go by, well, then Peter may still have a chance. 

 

It was farfetched and entirely the fault of Peter’s tendency to imagine he was secretly part of an ongoing, stupidly melodramatic rom-com, but hell if it didn’t help calm his nerves. Peter slumped against the wall exhausted. He’d been running off of little more than pure stress and unstoppable anxiety since the second Harley had figured out just who was under the mask. At least, with that tiny sliver of hope Peter had managed to snag, he wasn’t running on empty. Ned, the brilliant, wonderful friend that he was, wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulder and pulled him in close for a hug he didn’t even know he’d been craving. 

 

“Dude, knowing you everything is going to turn out just fine.”

 

Peter snorted in response, still tucking his face into Ned’s shoulder. “If you think anything in my life goes right then you haven’t been paying attention.”

 

“Oh yeah, I mean _obviously_ something was going to go wrong,” Ned laughed, his arms somehow managing to tighten even more across Peter’s back because Ned just so happened to be the best hug-giver of all time. “But,” he continued, “things always work out in the end. I think the universe pays attention and it just knows you deserve a happy ending one way or another.”

 

Peter pulled back from the embrace, searching Ned’s eyes for the reassurance he knew would be there. Ned beamed back until Peter could feel his own expression cracking into a lopsided smile. “Huh, well, I sure hope you’re right.”

 

Ned scoffed before tucking his arms into Peter’s grip and steering them out of the classroom, “Of course I’m always right. Isn’t that why you’re friends with me?”

 

“If I wanted someone who’s always right and is gonna just flaunt it in my face I’d be talking to MJ right now.”

 

“Yeah okay that’s fair.”

 

-

  


Dread had settled in Peter’s stomach and made it churn the way he imagined someone who had found a three week old burrito on the floor and eaten it might be feeling. Each and every step he took felt like he was wading through a physical manifestation of his own anxiety, but he still managed to keep moving. Admittedly, most of that credit should probably be given to Ned who was valiantly succeeding in dragging his reluctant friend over the threshold of the cafeteria even if it took four times as long as it should’ve. 

 

“Man, just because you _can_ use your crazy sticky powers to make my life difficult doesn’t mean you have to.” Ned whined, tugging Peter towards the table which currently housed nothing more than a particularly sceptical MJ. Slowly one eyebrow raised as she took in the pair. The moment the two boys reached their seats, with Ned helpfully directing Peter down, she took one long look at them before sighing. 

 

“So what’s up with Dweeb Number Two today?” She asked.

 

Peter frowned at the exact same time Ned beamed.

 

“I’m number two?”

 

“I’m number one?”

 

MJ rolled her eyes which, if they were being honest, was pretty much exactly what they expected from her. “Yeah, yeah, congrats on your promotion Ned, but seriously. What’s up with him? Is he just now figuring out that there might just be consequences to walking on the ceiling whilst _at_ a school full of students?”

 

Peter peered at her, “Wait. How do _you_ know I did that? You didn’t see me right?”

 

“I know everything.” She said simply. 

 

Peter’s exasperated groan was quickly interrupted by MJ’s thoughtful hum, her gaze focused past Peter’s shoulder toward the cafeteria’s entrance. He turned, curious at what had garnered such a reaction only to immediately experience the singular sensation of trying and failing to melt someone through the intensity of his glare alone. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Peter frowned at his target, Flash refused to stop flirting with Harley and melt already. 

 

Peter huffed in irritation as he watched the two of them, Harley leaning casually against the door as Flash crowded up against him. It was frankly eerie just how similar this whole situation was to the first time Peter had lain eyes on Harley, all those months ago. But still, despite the strange sense of déjà vu that permeated everything as Peter felt himself pushing his seat back absently, already on the march towards the pair -- everything still managed to be entirely different. This time it wasn’t a harmless flutter of butterflies in his stomach, but a swirling storm of complicated emotions. There were the usual nerves, the ones that came every time he’d notice Harley had entered the room. The ones that told him that _there, right there_ that was the boy Peter wanted to be talking to. The one he wanted to _be with._  

 

But there was more to it now. A sense of apprehension - fear even - that traced his every movement because what if? What if this was the moment Harley decided he didn’t care about secret identities or friendship or the maybe-a-little-bit-more-than-friendship thing they’d been heading towards? Not that the fear was the main thing Peter was focusing on as he pushed through a crowd of students, each step taking him closer and closer to the boys by the door. It was memories that engulfed his every thought. The one thing that changed the whole situation from the first time Peter had made his way over to Harley was that now there was so much more to him, to _them._ He wasn’t just some new kid, he was Harley. He was a genius who could make Peter laugh more than anyone else with only a handful of words. He was an idiot who got confused at why he got detention for creating a robot specifically designed to steal student’s pencils in the middle of exams. He was funny, and kind, and sensitive, and too gorgeous to even be real. And he was Peter’s friend. 

 

“-right Keener?” Flash’s voice broke through the flurry of thoughts in Peter’s head as he finally got close to the other two boys. “It’s lucky Spider-Man was there to help you y’know. He’s actually a pretty close friend of mine, I told him to keep an eye out for you, so I guess you could say I had a bit of a hand in your rescue.” He laughed in the way people do when they’ve started talking and it’s already too late for them to back out now even though they clearly regretted every word they were saying. Peter was very, very familiar with this experience but that didn’t mean he was letting Flash off the hook for this fun new brand of lies. “I mean, it’s way more important that you’re safe than that I had anything to do with it of course!” He hurried to assure Harley, who in turn seemed happy to respond by simply raising one eyebrow, practically daring Flash to dig himself deeper into this hole.

 

He did.

 

“Actually, uh…” Flash’s eyes darted around the room, hesitation marring his every movement. It was practically a miracle that he didn’t notice Peter who was still storming his way towards them. “Speaking of Spider-Man- uh, well, more like speaking of me speaking to him about you- Well the thing is that- uh, you see I was talking to him and- uh,” 

 

For a fraction of a second Peter’s pace slowed as he tried to figure out just what the hell Flash was trying to lead to. Until all of a sudden it hit him. 

 

_You’ve got to be kidding me._

 

“- And when I was talking to him he kinda reminded me that I shouldn’t just sit here _waiting_ for the guy I like to ask me out-”

 

 _Oh hell no. No. No. No. No no nononono no no_ no. 

 

“-so, I’m just going to say it-”

 

_No. No. NO. Please god no._

 

 _“_ I’m gonna just… take the initiative here and tell you-”

 

_Pretty please with like a billion cherries on top: NO_

 

 _“_ \- that you should ask me out.”

 

…

 

_What._

 

Peter and Flash both watched Harley with equal fervor. Each waiting with bated breath for what the hell Harley’s response would possibly be. Harley himself seemed interested to find that out because all he could seem to manage was a single, drawn out “uhhhhhh”.

 

He blinked slowly, a sharp contrast to the rapid fire beating of Peter’s own heart that he could feel pounding against his chest. 

 

“What?” Harley finally said, the word more a breath than an actual question.

 

Flash seemed to realise his mistake in roughly half a second too late. The damage was done.

 

Instead of outright laughing at him, like Peter vaguely expected he would, Harley simply grinned. “Did you really just _tell me_ to ask _you_ out?” 

 

Flash nodded numbly only to be shocked back into stillness when he felt Harley’s hand thump down onto his shoulder as he chuckled. “Gotta admit man, that takes some fuckin’ guts. Kudos to you.” Before the tiny glimpse of hope building behind Flash’s eyes could grow though, Harley kept talking. “But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna do it. I mean, I’m like, pretty flattered I guess. And, funny story actually - but I was just coming into the cafeteria to go ask out the guy I like right now, and I feel like it’d kinda steal my thunder if I wasted that question on you first. So uh, thanks but I’ve kinda got to go talk to the idiot standing behind the bins eavesdropping right now.”

 

Flash twirled on the spot, his gaze narrowing in on Peter who hadn’t quite realised he’d hidden himself behind the bins until he was suddenly being called out for it. Peter stuttered out a series of mumbles that were probably meant to be some kind of excuse except his brain had forgotten to actually come up with words to place there instead. Flash took one look at Peter’s stunned expression before rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. He wandered off, with far more grace and dignity intact than just about anybody expected. 

 

Harley huffed an amused laugh in Flash’s direction before turning back to Peter, arms crossed over his chest, head tilted to the side as he examined the boy before him. He wasn’t quite sure when it happened but Peter seemed to have moved forward, edging closer and closer until he was mere inches away from Harley, searching his face for answers just as he studied Peter. 

 

“So.” He said.

 

“So…” Peter replied.

 

“Spiders huh?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Lied to me for months huh?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Told Tony you liked me?”

 

“Uh… Yup.”

 

Harley kept up his straight face for all of two seconds before breaking out into the biggest grin Peter had ever seen. It was the type of grin that somehow managed to both clear out every one of the last jittery nerves in Peter’s stomach, calming him down instantly, and it incited a whole new type of buzzing. One that filled his stomach, his head, his heart until he was practically overflowing with a warmth and happiness he only found himself feeling when Harley smiled at him like _that._

 

Harley’s smile wavered for a second, an uncharacteristic display of nerves that lasted for only a moment before he steeled himself. 

 

“So…” He said carefully. 

 

“So?” Peter echoed, confused at just where Harley planned on taking this conversation.

 

“Am I going to get an answer?”

 

Did… did Peter miss something? Was there some part of this conversation that had actually been shared telepathically and he just hadn’t noticed? Had Harley grossly misunderstood Spider-Man’s powers?

 

“Answer to what?”

 

Harley smiled again. It was softer now, and if he didn’t know better Peter might even go so far as to say it was _shy_. He was so caught up in the way this new smile made him feel - like he was getting wrapped up in a blanket and hugged all at the same time - that it took Peter a few moments to notice the way Harley’s hands reached out to encircle his own. Holding him tight and tugging just enough that his feet inched forward of their own volition. Peter wasn’t complaining. 

 

“I was wondering,” Harley said slowly, his thumb tracing absent circles across Peter’s palm, “If you were going to answer the question I told Flash I’d ask you.”

 

Peter wracked his brains, each thought coming to him a minute slower than usual because _dear god_ , how did Harley expect him to _remember things_ and to _think_ when they were standing so close together. Soon enough, or maybe it was an extraordinarily long time later, Peter’s mind managed to scrounge up the relevant memory to know just what Harley was talking about. A teasing smile slipped onto his face.

 

“Well _Princess_ ,” and wow if it didn’t send a thrill up Peter’s spine to say that without the mask. Judging by the way Harley’s pupils seemed to double in size, maybe Peter wasn’t the only one who reacted to the nickname. “I would love to give you my answer but I’m afraid you haven’t actually asked me the question yet.”

 

Harley’s smile widened as he laughed and Peter couldn’t help but thank the universe for letting him be the cause of that glorious sound. When he finished chuckling Harley beamed back at Peter.

 

“Fair enough Parker. I can do this all proper then if that’s what you really want.”

 

“It sure is.”

 

“Well, apparently at least one of us needs to learn how to communicate so I guess I’ll be the one taking those first steps.” Harley ignored Peter’s spluttered protests about how secret identities and relationship developments weren’t even close to the same thing. “So, Peter Parker, how’d you like to go out with me?”

 

Peter’s half hearted protests died out just long enough for him to mutter a quick “yes” and then finally - _finally_ \- he reached out and drew Harley to him, closing the last few inches of space between them until there was no air left between them. 

 

Both boys smiled into the kiss, making it a little clunky, and a little awkward but so perfectly _them_ that they couldn’t help but break away laughing, still holding each other as tightly as they could. 

 

“That probably wasn’t the best first kiss we could’ve had.” Harley admitted happily.

 

“You wanna practice some more?”

 

“Sounds like a damn good plan Peter.” He said, already pulling Peter in for another kiss, this one going far more smoothly but still creating the same swirling storm of butterflies that seemed to just occupy Peter’s chest now. Not, of course, that he’d have it any other way.

 

“Oh, and Peter?” Harley said, breaking away for just a moment as they both caught their breath. Peter nodded dazedly. “Can you _please_ tell Steve about how lucky you are to date Spider-Man because I’m pretty sure if he hears it from you he’ll finally gonna believe me about my secret identity and- hey! Peter! Stop laughing, this is serious! Just lie to Captain America for me please! What kinda boyfriend are you that you won’t even _try_ and deceive a national icon for me.”

 

Peter laughed again, wrapping his arms around his pouting boyfriend’s neck, and smiled at just how good it felt to hear Harley call him that. 

 

“We’ve been dating for two minutes and you’re already calling me a bad boyfriend? Guess I’ll just have to fix that.”

 

“And how do you propose to do th-”

 

Anymore words or protests that Harley might’ve had were quickly silenced as Peter drew his boyfriend in for another kiss, a practice that both of them couldn’t wait to do again and again and again. 

  


-

  


“Okay but seriously, you _are_ gonna tell him I’m Spider-Man right?”

 


End file.
